First Name: Clive

Last Name: Clifton-Clappen

Place of Birth: Burton-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England

Current Location: Burton-on-Trent, Staffordshire, England

Date of Birth: February 29, 1936

Current Age: 64

Employment: CPC (UK)

Limited Military Service: RAF

Hobbies: Queuing and genealogy

Some Background:

    Clive was a cofounder, together with Lord Cranbury, of the Royal Society of Dull Men.
    In the RAF, Clive rose to be Chief Windscreen Washer for Spitfires. He left the RAF on a medical disability. He had acquired an allergy. He had become allergic to vinegar.

    Clive works now as a Marmite tester.  He works at the Burton-on-Trent plant, in Surrey, of Marmite’s manufacturer, CPC (UK) Limited.  Clive tastes samples off the production line. If the Marmite tastes too good, he sends it back.

     On his days off from Marmite testing, Clive pursues his hobbies — queuing and genealogy.   Even if he’s alone, he forms a queue of one.

    Clive’s wife, Fiona, likes to travel.  Clive does not mind.  He goes too.  Travelling offers many opportunities to queue. On a recent weekend, they went out of town.  They began their trip by queuing at the bus stop near their flat.   They took the bus to the river.  Then they queued for a boat. On the boat they queued for tea.  Then queued again for ice cream.  A similar number of queuings on the trip back.  Finally, they queued at the entrance of their flat, just for the fun of it.

    The only drawback of travelling for Clive is when they go places where there’s no Marmite.  And even when they are able to find it, it’s not always the same as back home. They went to New Zealand a few years ago.  They had Marmite there, but it was not  the same.  Clive said it was because they put too much sugar in it.

    Although Clive still likes his work, he is looking forward to retirement.   He’ll of course always eat Marmite.  But he’d like to turn his hobby into his work. When he retires, he’s thinking of taking up queuing professionally.   He dreams of becoming a free-lance queuer. He might also teach queuing.  He sees an opportunity to teach in America, where, in his opinion, people don’t queue properly. Clive is realistic, however, in his expectations — he does not expect to see Americans queuing up for Marmite.

THANK YOU FOR USING CLIVE CLIFTON-CLAPPEN