Reader finds dullmen.com full of stimulation, almost gets too excited
March 28, 2006
Dear DMC,
[Message Type: Praise]
What a . . . I dare not get over excited . . . fine website. And one so full of
stimulation. I thank you.??
Firstly I would like to add to your section on baggage carousels. A new country
for your list: Slovenia. The lone international airport (some distance from the
capital, Ljubljana) does in fact have a carousel, even though it does not have any
aerobridges. The carousel moves in a (rickety) clockwise direction. ??
And another city in Saudi Arabia, Riyadh, which has both Bangladeshi porters
AND five baggage carousels. The carousels move in an anti-clockwise direction.
Now I must suggest another fascinating topic for discussion and inclusion within
your travel section: Immigration counters. I have pondered long and hard over
the following questions regarding immigration counters:? "Are there any
immigration counters that are UPSTAIRS instead of either on the same level or
down stairs?",?Why does Britain seems to be the only place where the folk
personing the immigration counters are not in uniform?" ?and most puzzling of
all?"Why is the laminex on so many countries immigration counters that
particularly unattractive shade of dark pink?"??
Your help on these worrying questions would be greatly appreciated.??
Warm regards??
BEN
Slippers no longer used to calculate inflation trends in the UK
March 22, 2006
Dear DMC
This is bad news for dull men everywhere. The Office for National
Statistics no longer includes slippers in the "shopping basket" used to
calculate inflation trends in the UK. Coleslaw is also out. On the plus
side, champagne is in.
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4829024.stm
http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4829024.stm
Steve Reszetniak
Old Irish Laws
March 16, 2006
Dear DMC
Here is a link to an article about some very old Irish laws that are still on the statute book.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1731125,00.html#article_continue
These are the best ones, I think. I am not sure it is wise to repeal them:
1718 Coffee Adulteration Act: forbids the mixing of lard, grease and/or
sheep dung into coffee sacks to make it go further.
1735 Tippling Act: prohibits landlords from vigorously chasing money
owed to them for ales.
Steve Reszetniak
More from Katy in Paris — Duck Watching in Parks, Avoiding Starbucks
March 14, 2006
Dear DMC,
Thank you for your information. Yes, you can lead a dull life in Paris so like
anywhere else in the world. One of my favorite activities is going to the nearby
park and observing the ducks there. I like watching them hop out of a pond
quacking in a small group, cross the park alley and then plunge into another
pond (there are four ponds in this park). This is a perilous operation for ducks as
they are exposed to humans, especially to the dangerously excited little ones,
while crossing the alley. But usually they accomplish this mission safely. ??
By the way, concerning Starbucks in Paris (I enjoyed reading your Paris trip
report), they’ve been developing amazingly here since its first opening on Opera
avenue. But it is too exciting for me to go there because there are so many
choices to make myself just for a cup of coffee. In traditional cafe in Paris, you
usually order a ”café,” which is an espresso, or a ”café creme,’” and that’s all
you should know.
Recently a new Starbucks opened close to my favorite park above (Bercy park,
metro station line 14 St-Emillion). Occasionally I go there after duck watching,
when I feel myself daring enough to go through the complicated coffee-ordering
procedure.
One of my friends even told me that you are judged ”branche” (cool and in) or not
by the way you order at Starbucks. So this coffee shop's concept may not be
compatible with the value of DMC.
Kind regards,
Katy
+ + + + + + +
Dear Katy,
Your duck watching sounds like a great form of Safe Excitement. For us dullards,
it could be labeled Extreme Duck Watching.
Dull men cope with Starbucks by simply ordering their “regular” coffee, also
called “drip” coffee. We prefer to ask for “regular.” “Regular” comes much closer
than “drip” to defining a dull man.
We had trouble with the French words you so kindly provided to us in your e-
mail. My problem is that I know very little French (I don’t get out much). The e-
mail replaced some of the letters with gobbledygook. I tried to correct the
gobbledygook. Did I succeed?
Kind regards,
Grover
Concrete Centre
March 13, 2006
Dear DMC,
http://www.concretecentre.com/main.asp?page=0
I happened upon the above website and felt that you should know about it. I am
not sure if it will qualify as truly dull since it contains so much information that
could be regarded as mildly exciting. The website covers just about everything
you can think of to do with concrete. You can even download such publications
as Concrete Quarterly. I'm not really sure if my enthusiasm for the site is a sign of
dullness or if the site really is full of intellectual gems. You must judge for
yourselves.
Yours
Leslie Edwards (Mr.)
PS: You have in the past referred to me as 'she', in keeping with my dull nature
this does not unduly worry me as we have not met, it might worry me a little if we
had met.
+ + + + + + +
Dear Leslie,
Thanks for this link. I like the stunning picture on the web site’s home page,
especially all those traffic cones neatly in line.
Sorry about the gender mistake. I don’t get out much.
Yours
Grover
Useful Guide to Travel Packing
March 10, 2006
Dear DMC,
I cannot thank you enough for posting the link to david alexander smith's exposé
on how to shovel snow:
http://www.davidalexandersmith.com/howto/shovsnow.html
While perusing his site I came across the equally useful guide to travel packing.
The man is a genius . . . but can you please tell me where does he keep his
passport?
Yours
Zac
+ + + + + + +
Dear Zac,
We can’t thank you enough for pointing out that, in addition to how to shovel
snow, David Alexander Smith has other “how to” articles. Our readers can click
on this link to get to them:
http://www.davidalexandersmith.com/index.html
As for his guide to travel packing, you indeed are a dull man to have read it
careful enough to spot the fact that he listed no place for this passport. Could this
be because he too is a dull man — only travels domestically?
Sincerely,
Grover
Greetings from Russia — “You’re heading in the right direction”
March 8, 2006
Dear DMC,
greetings from Russia. I think you are on the right way (exlamation point
remove). I think dullmen are always on the right way (exlamation point remove).
With good wishes and spelling mistakes,
Lev
+ + + + + + +
Dear Lev,
Many thanks for confirming that we are heading in the right direction. Hearing
that from you means a lot to us.
We don’t know whether it is the road less traveled or the road more traveled. I
have a hunch that it is the more-traveled road. Many men prefer, at least
secretly, the calmer way of life, avoiding the glitz and glam and the pressures of
trying to keep up with that stuff.
Don’t worry about the spelling mistakes. It’s good that we receive letters like
yours and put them up on our web site. It gives dull men something to do. Dull
men like to proofread. It gives them a big thrill when they find mistakes. It’s a fine
from of safe excitement.
Grover
Is the DMC global?
March 11, 2006
Dear DMC,
Message Type: Question
I myself living in Paris, I would like to know more about international activities of DMC, namely of its International Committee. Is there dullmen's global network? Or is it too exciting for dullmen to go worldwide?
Thank you in advance for the information
Katy
+ + + + + + +
Yes, we’ve even been to Paris
Dear Katy,
While dull men generally prefer to stay at home, some of us get out once in a while. Take me for example. I have been to Paris. Click here to read my trip report.
What I particularly remember about Paris is the dull/dumb joke that came to mind: Do you know why people don’t swim in the river that runs through the middle of Paris? Because, is they did, they’d be insane.
Sincerely,
Grover
London Underground — Where to Stand
March 8, 2006
Dear DMC,
Type of Message: Suggestion
I wonder if on your next visit to London (to check the direction of the carousels
perhaps) if you might be interested in helping out travellers on the London
Underground. I think it would most useful to travellers to have information
available to them that tells you where on the platform you should stand in order
that you will be adjacent to the exit at your destination station when you get off
the train. I think this should save about 30 seconds on a typical journey time.
Having a book with instructions to carry and read whilst on your tube journey
would be most interesting for dull men I think. Compiling such a book would also
be a most interesting exercise and not too expensive if you make use of a day
ticket.
On another matter your site visitors may be interested to see the website I have
set up: http://www.veggie-recipes.com/index.htm. This gives me the reassurance
that I will always have to hand my favourite recipes, and is invaluable in reducing
the anxiety i have experienced in the past by not being able to remember which
cookery book contained the recipe I was looking for. Also I ever lose my recipes
in a fire or burglary I have peace of mind that my recipes are safe on the web.??
Yours
Chris
Toilet Paper — One Man’s View about Over or Under
With the Wall Paper in Mind
March 8, 2006
Dear DMC,
In reference the issue (from Dave - 03/03/06) of how to hang toilet paper (over
the top or behind and underneath) can I suggest the former is preferable since
there is less likelihood of rubbing the wallpaper (if present) when reaching for a
sheet, or two. I accept this is less of an issue if your bathroom happens to
be tiled.
Kind Regards,
Adam
+ + + + + + +
Dear Adam,
That’s a great point about the wallpaper. I am impressed of your consideration for
wallpaper. Wallpaper, like everything else, deserves to be treated properly. Being
rubbed by toilet paper might be viewed improperly by the wallpaper. It is not a
nice message to be sending to the wallpaper. Think of what the wallpaper thinks
you might be equating it to.
Kind Regards,
Grover
Anatomy of a Coat Hanger — Defining One of the Parts
March 8, 2006
Dear DMC,
I'm trying to find out the term that one would use to refer to the part of a coat
hanger where the straps of a dress would hang. Not necessarily the little hooks
that are sometimes under the wire . . . but where the "shoulder" of the hanger is .
. . does that make sense? Where, if you were hanging up a dress, the 'shoulders'
of the dress (though in this case it would be straps) nestle into the little cut out
section of the hanger. Can you help? Does a term for this part of a hanger even
exist? Many thanks.
Jeanette
+ + + + + + +
Dear Jeanette,
That’s a very important question you ask. I don’t know the answer but I hope a
reader of dullmen.com will know and email the answer to us.
Should we try to think outside of the box and create a name for this? Dull men
rarely like to think out of the box. We much prefer to think in the box. But, when it
comes to coat hangers, one of our favorite topics, we can make an exception.
How about “strap catchers”?
That was the second idea I had. The first idea was “strap grabber.” But I thought
that sounded a bit racy — a guy grabbing at the straps of a lady’s dress. Dull
men don’t do that.
So I like the second idea that came into my mind, “strap catcher.” That has a
nice, practical ring to it. What do you think?
Grover
Best Thing
[Message Type: Praise]
February 27, 2006
Dear DMC,
This site could be the best thing that will ever happen to me
Tony
An enduring question — which way should toilet paper unwind?
March 3, 2006
Dear DMC,
Which way should the toilet paper unwind from the roll holder? 1. Over the top
or 2. From behind and underneath.
This must be one of the enduring questions for mankind, as there is always time
in everyone's life to contemplate the answer.
Perhaps the question is unanswerable. I have spent periods from time to time
over the last 60 years on this and have never arrived at a satisfactory conclusion
other than to abandon the roll altogether and use those boxed ones.
HELP [exclamation point removed]
Dave
+ + + + + + +
Dear Dave,
I am pleased you found a solution to the problem — using the boxed ones. That
demonstrates your creativity — and taking responsibility for getting right to the
bottom of things.
Grover
Ice Fishing — This Week on Prairie Home Companion
February 25, 2006
Dear DMC,
Your readers will want to listen to this week’s radio show Prairie Home
Companion.
Click here to get to their web site that has information on how/where to listen to
the show.
The web site also has a nice picture of a hole through ice and some of the fish
caught.
The show was broadcasted from Lakeside Ballroom in Glenwood, Minnesota —
on the shore of Lake Minnewaska. It’s a special ice fishing show. It even has
songs about ice fishing.
Sincerely,
Treasa Froid
Medal of Freedom for VP Cheney?
February 24, 2006
Dear DMC,
I came across this news story on the Reuters web site yesterday. Now that I
have finally stopped laughing, I am forwarding it to you.
Wed Feb 22, 11:31 AM ET
WASHINGTON (Reuters)
A White House source stated that Congress is considering awarding Vice-President Dick
Cheney the Medal of Freedom, the national highest civilian commendation, for his act of
bravery in shooting an attorney. The source was quoted to say, " All Americans have
wanted to shoot a lawyer at one time or another and Cheney actually had the balls to do
it".
In a related story, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department, which issues hunting
licenses, said that it will start requiring hunters wishing to bag a lawyer to have the new
"lawyer's stamp" on their hunting license. Currently Texas hunters are required to carry
stamps for hunting birds, deer, and bear, at a cost of $7 annually. The new "lawyers
stamp" will cost $100, but open season will be all year long.
The department further stated that although the "lawyers stamp" comes at hefty
price, sales have been brisk and it is believed it will generate annual revenues in excess of $3
million the first year. Other states are considering similar hunting license stamps.
Sincerely,
Robert Parish
Grand Junction, Colorado
Good advice about how to live a dull life — and live longer
February 23, 2006
Dear DMC,
Here is an argument for allowing women into the Dull Men's Club. The author
understands dullness completely.??
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45591\
Dave Jenks
+ + + + + + +
Dear Dave,
Thank you for the link to that wonderful article from the Onion.
I agree, the writer certainly understands dullness. She’s spot on when suggesting
that, instead of mountain climbing, white water rafting, or hang gliding, stay at
home carefully sitting in your rocking chair. Instead of traveling, let your friends
and relatives do that — ask them to buy you a spoon at each place they go. If
watching TV gets to be too exciting, turn away from the TV and instead listen to it
while starring at the wall.
However, that fact that women understand the benefits of a dull life does
not mean they should be allowed to be in the Dull Men’s Club. It would be too
exciting for our dull men members if that were to happen.
Grover
Reader has lots to tell us — begins in the middle
February 17, 2006
Dear DMC
I’ve got so much to tell you I don’t know where to begin so I’ll start in the middle.
Last year my wife (Juliet) and I moved house. Before we moved we packaged
lots of our belongings into cardboard boxes which we “bedroom”, “bathroom” et
c. so you didn’t have to open the cardboard box to see where it should go. When
we got to our new place we discovered that one of us had put the wrong label
onto one of the boxes and the things destined for the bedroom had ended up in
the bathroom. You can only imagine how we both laughed.
To be fair this story has done the rounds a bit now. We told it at both of the
dinner parties we went to last year (our dinner party attendance jumped from one
the previous year).
I should come clean at this stage. I am a member of the radical action group, Dull
Pride. I know in the past the DMC hasn’t looked kindly on our activities in DP. All
we want is a fair hearing. It’s time this happened. Remember our slogan, “Action
now or perhaps later.” We’re rather pleased with acronym it makes. ANOPL.??
I can’t leave you without mentioning our fave reads of the moment. (All available
from Amazon):
1. Snags and Solutions - a Practical Guide to Everyday Electrical Problems:
Earthing and Bonding: Incorporating the Requirements of BS 7671: 2001
Including Amendment No.2 National Inspection Council for Electrical Installation
Contracting.
2. 16th Edition IEE Wiring Regulations: Design and Verification of Electrical
Installations A masterpiece. Rave reviews, of course.
3. The Electrician's Guide to the 16th Edition of the IEE Wiring Regulations,
BS7671 and Part P of the Building Regulations? (Good, though it's nowhere
near as good as the film.)
Yours
Barry
+ + + + + + +
Dear Barry,
How nice to hear from you.
I like the fact that you started in the middle. Dull men like the middle. We don’t
like being out on the fringe.
That’s a wonderful story about the labels on the boxes. I am sure you were a big
hit at those dinner parties.
As for Dull Pride, perhaps you would like one of our ribbons. Click here to see
example.
Sincerely,
Grover
Sixteen year old asks, “When will a dull man get the girl?”
February 18, 2006
Hey there, I am currently a sixteen year old in high school, a junior. Anyway, I
was wondering, will I ever get the girl?
I recently asked this girl out and didn't know the words to say really. And I got the
feeling that she thought I was dull. So I just wanted to know, about what age will
a girl finally be interested in a dull person like me?
Daniel
+ + + + + + +
Dear Daniel,
It may take a while. If you are truly a dull man, you are patient. In the meantime,
enjoy whatever it is that you like to enjoy. Be what you are. You are what you are.
When it comes to women, dull men usually don’t promote themselves. Instead,
they allow women to be attracted to them. It happens. Wait.
Grover
Our Valentine’s Card Pleases a Lady
February 14, 2006
Dear DMC,
Thank you DMC for the sensible Valentine’s Card my boy friend sent to me. I am
so pleased he didn’t fall for all that hype and commercialism of Valentine’s Day.
He didn’t buy me flowers or chocolate. He didn’t even buy a fancy card. Instead
he printed out the card from dullmen.com [click here to see it], signed it and
presented it to me.
A sensible man like that is what I truly want in my life.
Sincerely (like dull men, female admirers of dull men are always sincere, mostly-,
Penny Hart
Links from dullmen.com too exciting for a reader?
February 13, 2006
Dear DMC,
Please be more careful with the links on your site. I visited only a few and I got so
excited I had to take two naps back to back.
Dick Bragg
+ + + + + + +
Dear Dick,
Two naps back-to-back? I think in England that’s called “duvet diving”?
What links are you referring to, specifically?
If you want to dull down what you see, click here.
Sincerely,
Grover
RED SKELTON’S ADVICE FOR A GOOD MARRIAGE
February 9, 2006
Dear DMC,
With February 14 coming up, I thought dull men may like to read some oldies and
goldies from Red Skelton — why his marriage was so successful.
Dull men like stuff like this from the good old days when humor didn't use four-
letter words. Just clean and simple fun.
Sincerely,
Val N. Tinne
RED SKELTON'S QUOTES CONCERNING MARRIAGE:
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good
food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays. I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California. Mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere . . . but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere
I haven't been in a long time." she said. I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in
the carburetor. I asked where the car was. "In the lake," she said.
7. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
8. She ran after the garbage truck yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said "No. Jump in."
9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
10. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
11. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust."
12. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down." So I bought
her an electric chair.
13. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
|
