Dear DMC 2004

DEAR DMC 2004

BBC Article about the Roundabout Appreciation Society

November 9, 2004

Dear Dull Men Here is some mildly exciting news about roundabouts -- and the Roundabout Appreciation Society -- from the BBC. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3972979.stm

Steve Reszetniak

MARBLES -- all you need to know about them

November 18, 2004

Dear DMC, May I suggest to your readers that visiting http://www.houseofmarbles.com/ . This site has all you need to know about marbles and has a choice puzzle section if you feel a bit exited (But I hope you don't). You can also browse a section on Teign Valley Glass but 'arty' fonts can be a bit of a deterrent. Although some of the Marbles are quite colourful, I consider playing with marbles quite dull. Enjoy.

Joe Clarke

The Exciting World of Furnace Filters

November 12, 2004

Dear DMC,

Furnace filters are such an important part of modern life. But which one to buy? Comparing the relative merits of furnace filters is a particularly dull way to spend a chilly winter afternoon while worrying that the furnace isn't running quite right. I respectfully submit this site as one that offers an excellent opportunity for ... well, comparing furnace filters. And isn't that what it's really all about in the end? http://www.allergybuyersclub.com/compare-furnace-filters.html

Garth Kriewall

Reader Suggestion

November 10, 2004
Dear DMC,

I'd like to suggest a few attractions in my local area. They are truly awe uninspiringly dull.

http://www.barometerworld.com/

http://www.paperweightcentre.co.uk/

I trust that you will find these acceptable. I apologise unreservedly for the colours on the barometer world site, some people feel they need to 'Jazz things up', as the children might say.

Your sincerely

Daniel Ferrett

Wheelbarrow Recall

November 8, 2004

Dear DMC,

I don't mean to unnecessarily alarm any one, but our client, Ames True Temper, would like your visitors to know that they have re-announced their April 2002 wheelbarrow recall. To make sure everyone checks their wheelbarrows and calls if they have one of the recalled ones, they are offering a replacement wheel assembly and a free gardening tool gift. Since I know that some people here may not like surprises, I am authorized to tell you that the gift is pruning shears. We don't actually have a picture of the pruning shears on hand, but hope you can imagine that they are really nice and fun to use, plus it is not every day you get a replacement wheel assembly in the mail.

Again, thanks for discretely drawing attention to this important recall program. I would be happy to update you on other exciting recall programs, since keeping track of them is a big part of my job.

Steve McGonegal
Heiden Associates

Michael Fish Retiring? How can this be?

October 3, 2004

Dear DMC, Did I hear it right on the David Frost Show this morning -- Michael Fish is retiring? I hope this is not the case. But if he does, I certainly hope they can find a suitable replacement – coming as close as possible to cloning Michael. Dull men don't like change. We have been watching Michael for 24 years. Many of us watching his first thing in the morning, then go outdoors or phone around to see whether it's really happening. Michael has always been spot on. The worst thing BBC could do is replace Michael with some exciting babe like they have presenting the weather now in the U.S. I don't want to say that Michael is dull, he might retard that as an insult. But I think it is safe to say that Michael does not represent glitz and glamour. To preserve my memories of Michael, I am printing out all I can about him from the web. Here is where I am starting: "Michael Fish, MBE — The End of an Era" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/bbcweather/forecasters/michael_fish_retirement.shtml

Regards,

W. Eather

Running of the Sheep – too exciting for dull men?

September 28, 2004

the "running of the sheep" in Te Kuiti, New Zealand may well sound dull enough to please, but alas it was unfortunately adrenaline-laced. The sheep took the opportunity to put into practice their carefully formulated plan for revenge on 160 years of economic servitude, and scattered to the four corners of Te Kuiti's CBD; small children were dagged, shrubs were trampled, grown men waved their arms energetically trying to restore order. You should issue a lightly-worded warning to prevent DMC members trying to replicate this senseless act of exhilaration.

gabriella

September 27, 2004

The Art of Being Dull

Dressing the Part

I think part of being dull is dressing the part and feel a topic thread should be dedicated to this much ignored aspect of the art. In order to nudge things along, I went to an organ recital at Auckland town hall at the weekend and was amazed to see that most of the audience were wearing baggy track pants and comfy cardies – and I was totally and uncharacteristically un-de rigeur in trousers and a shirt. So get along to organ recitals folks, they're happening places (whatever that means).

Tony Mujllinger

An Airport Report from Slovenia coming soon – stay tuned

September 27, 2004

Dear Sirs,

I was delighted by your airport carousel report, a comprehensive piece of research indeed. I am sure many travelers will find information on the direction of the baggage flow invaluable. I would like to contribute a piece of information on my home country Slovenia's international airport Ljubljana. Before long I shall submit a detailed report but for now let it be sufficient to say although small it does posses a carousel. I hope you will be able to make use of this humble piece of information.

Yours sincerely

Diana Zadravec

From "Sorta Torn"

September 11, 2004

Dear DMC,

Ran into this site... accidentally, and I LOVE IT [three exclamation points removed] Thanks for the laffs :D I'm sorta torn between attraction to Dull Men and aversion to them.

From Curious Lady

Exclamation Points in Ads

September, 2, 2004

Dear Dull Men's Club,

Today, I noticed that, although you go to extreme measures to delete exclamation points and to use conservative colors, your advertisers do not show the same respect for crashing bores like myself. On the home page, I counted four exclamation points in ten advertisements just a moment ago. They were all flashy red, yellow, orange, and blue advertisements, enticing me to click on them and leave this deliciously bland website. I do hope that these overzealous sponsors do not negatively influence the safe excitement of this site. However, I am not outraged. Outrage is not a dull emotion. Plus, dull men do enjoy free shipping.

Regards,

Nathan Philip Howe

September 1, 2004

Breaking News from Albania

Update on Airport Carousel in Tirana, Albania. Now have 1 anticlockwise carousel.

RegardsTony

Coventry Airport, UK – airport luggage carousel goes counterclockwise

August 27, 2004

Dear DMC,

Under UK: Coventry Airport [CVT] — One single carousel going counter (anti) clockwise

Love the site Have used it as an example of the diversity of the web many a time

Keep up the good work

Stuart Hyde

A Web Site for the Complete Dull Gardener

August 16, 2004

I have just come across a really interesting site whilst searching the web: www.organicallotment.co.uk It has loads of information on doing things us dull men enjoy. Gardening, watching plants grow, using tools and recipes to cook some dull vegetables like swede. I do like swede

Regards

Antony Hagues

August 2, 2004

Dear DMC,

I have just stumbled across your Web Site. Absolutely fabulous [two exclamation marks removed] I'm crying with laughter. Added it to my Favorites so I can look at it when I have more time available (ie: when being Dull)

Regards Ronnie

August 1, 2004

Dear DMC,

I enjoy reading your site very much. Kind regards,

Klaus

A Reader Likes to Read Spam . . .and tips on how to receive more of it

July 29, 2004

Dear DMC,

The information age has provided a marvelous pastime for the dull man: Reading SPAM. I love to check my inbox several times per day and analyze the poor sentence structure and typographical errors in the unwanted e-mail I receive. If you do not receive enough spam, consider making your address more widely available. Sign up for free things on the internet. Post your address in chatrooms. Hours of fun await [exclamation point removed].

Nathan Philip Howe

Our U.S. Office on "Gallows Road" . . . what's that all about?

July 3, 2004

Dear DMC,

I see that your office is located on Gallows Road. 'Gallows Road' sounds very ominous and not at all dull...what on earth are you doing there? Tommy the Dullard

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Dear Tommy the Dullard,

We moved to our new office a while back when we heard that it was on a road that would be a nice place to hang out. We had been in Manhattan, and then downtown Washington, DC -- places that were too exciting for us.

DMC

Michael Schumacher nominated for being totally responsible for making Formula 1 the most boring sport in the world; and cited in divorce proceedings

July 3, 2004

Dear DMC,

My dear husband can sit and discuss for many hours what a genius and how wonderful Michael Schumacher is and what a great Grand Prix he's just won . . . AGAIN. I would like to nominate Michael Schumacher for being the man totally responsible for making Formula 1 Motor Racing the most boring sport in the world. I am also sighting him in my divorce proceedings [six exclamation points removed]

Mandy Dougan

A reader finds a network of like men at last (it's us)

June 25, 2004

Dear DMC,

a network of like men at last [exclamation mark removed]

Jayson Reynolds,

Australia

A lady from North Carolina writes to us

June 7, 2004

Dear DMC,

Here's a suggestion for the Type of Message I'm using on this e-mail contact form. Add the word "Praise." I Love your site.

Thanks.

A Dull North Carolina Woman

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We followed your suggestion and made the addition to the Contact Us page. Thank you. We must say, however, that it might be too unhumble for us to have done that.

A lady from Kuwait writes to us

June 3, 2004

Dear DMC,

I just accidentally ended up on your website when i was looking for a site that could show me what is Moulan Rouge or how it really looks like and i ended up reading "A Dull Man's Trip to Paris". I always like to see new places but i hate to be in the pictures; colleagues likes me and the way i work but i hate to be in the limelight . . . love to work at the backstage or back office . . . in short, i am more of the behind the camera person . . . is that makes me a dull too . . . if yes . . . I am lost . . . :( Do you have any suggestions where can i find a site like this but of women? This is men's site and men likes you did not like woman like us . . . we are too bored to be with plus i am not yet 100% convinced i am one . . . plus woman will just destroy your daily routine of a dull's life . . . thank's god i am still single. nevertheless, i am glad to know your site . . . now i have something to tell to my Dull Men Friend and Colleagues here in Kuwait who has no friend and co-workers who likes to be with them or even say hi to them. more power to you,

marife (mother of faith)

We provide entertainment for Emma

May 26, 2004

I just have to say, you dull men are great [exclamation point removed] Keeps me entertained anyway

Emma

Gloucestershire Cheese Roll — May 31, 2004

June 1, 2004

Dear DMC,

I went to the Cheese Rolling yesterday. I don’t think it is something we dull men should be too interested in. First of all, the cheese they roll is not mild. It is strong cheese -- big nine pound wheels of Double Gloucester. We would prefer some of those mile American cheeses, like Cheez Whiz or WisPride. They even have a pub there called The Cheese Roller. We would prefer a pub called The Velveeta. What they roll the cheese down looks like a ski slope. It looks like it is more suitable for ski jumping than cheese rolling. It was unbelievably exciting to watch. Soon after the cheese rolled down the hill the first cheese-chasing runner appeared. He was doing cartwheels down the hill. Others were sliding down the hill. Some were rolling. Participants get injured. In the first roll (they roll four times), two guys got so banged up they had to be carted off by ambulance – a broken ankle, a dislocated shoulder, a concussion. As those were the only ambulances on site, the next roll had to wait until the two ambulances returned. To let you know how dangerous it was, it was being filmed by the Extreme Sports Channel, not a channel dull men watch. Sincerely,

Roland (Roly) Hill

Gloucestershire Cheese Roll — May 31, 2004

May 22, 2004

Dear DMC,

An event I highly recommend is the annual cheese roll in Gloustershire. It is held the last Monday in May. This year it will be May 31. Click here for info. This is probably the oldest event held in England. It perhaps began in Roman times [click here]. No one knows, however, what kind of cheese the Romans rolled. Did they have cheddar back then? Or was it mozzarella, provolone, or parmesan? I go to it every year. I always have a great time. I just watch, however. I don’t run, or roll, down the hill like the participants do. That would be too exciting for me. I leave it to diehard thrill seekers (and to the cheese). I just people watch. It is really interesting to listen to the comments. They range from “What an awful thing to do with a fine cheese” to “That the best thing that could ever be done to that awfully smelly cheese.” Sometimes I take pictures of the people watching. You know what I say to them? I say, "Say cheese [exclamation mark removed]."

Sincerely,

Roland (Roly) Hill

Arthur Andersen, not Arthur Anderson

May 13, 2004

Dear DMC,

I couldn't help but find myself moderately (but not dangerously) excited by the blameology page. I have always loved accountancy for it's sensible nature and particularly love pointing out specific accounting errors. I could not help but notice a spelling error of a not inconsiderable magnitude on the page though, not only do you use the Old name for what surely should be called by it's new name "Andersen" (orange ball logo omitted for purposes of excitement reduction) throughout the page but in one pulse-raising moment it is wrong on two counts. It is indeed, I am shocked to report, written "Arthur Anderson"- woth an "o" in the place of an "e". My accountant friends at the book-keeping club where I sometimes socialise were no less shocked than me. Changes must be made before this ripple of excitement wipes the sensible population out.

Yours,

Herbert Grey

Dull Man Wanted (a lady wants one)

May 5, 2004

Dear DMC,

I want a dull man in my life. Just how can I find one? I have a personal site on yahoo personals but no reply yet.(dull man wanted). I will provide a good home and much affection. I expect not much in return and will be happy with what ever I can get.

Terry McFarland

Woman claimes to be extremely dull, one of her hobbies is catching snails, but is she truly dull?

May 3, 2004

Dear DMC.

I am a woman, which is extremely dull, and I want to belong to your club. My hobbies are catching snails, digging holes in the garden and watching council workmen digging holes in the road. There are five holes in our road at present and they are all full of water. This is because it has rained. I have deduced that if it had not rained they would not be full of water. They would be full of air. If they were not full of water or air then it would be holes in the holes wouldn't it? Do you know a scientific person whom I could ask? The anxiety caused by this unanswered question is interfering with my dullness. I take my heart pills as I await your reply.

Mikki Buckland.

Ps. I live in New Zealand and I have never seen a hole in the air here.

April 22, 2004

DMC T-Shirts — Attracts Attention (too much attention for a dull man?)

Dear DMC

Hello, hope you are all well. I have recently purchased a T-Shirt from yourselves and have taken a quiet pride in wearing it wherever I go - that is to my corner shop where I purchase lard for the boil on my leg. As a result the person who serves me in the shop now regards me as someone of consequence. ('Cos of the shirt not the boil)

Regards

Kevin Nokes Bristol, UK

PS why not add 'Glad to be Grey' to your rolling banner on the website?

Our site recommended to a British man by his partner — is that O.K.?

April 16, 2004

Dear DMC,

Will recommend this site to my partner [exclamation mark removed] He is sure to enjoy it, though would also be a good webmaster for a GrumpyOldMen site. Are British men allowed to view this US site? Perhaps there is a danger of international visitors arousing members out of their dull stupors? *wink* Enjoyed the pages [exclamation mark removed] dee PS: Are women allowed to view this site, or have I broken a rule?

*innocent smile*

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Dear Dee,

Or course British men as well as women are allowed to visit our site. Many do. Some of the greatest contributions, e.g., tubs-in-fields, come from Brits. Women like our site . . . women like dull men . . . men like us who are predictable reliable, safe

Sincerely,

DMC

Newsletter?

March 28, 2004

Dear DMC,

Do you put out an e-mail letter. If so, please add me to your list. I love your work [three exclamation points removed]

David Haug

Mission Brides (nice marital candidates, but too exciting for us)

March 28, 2004

Dear DMC,

I would like a link on your site. How do we go about it? I think you site is way cool and we have much to offer your readers. www.nelliaagency.com

Nellia

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March 28, 2004

Dear Nellia,

We looked at your site. We think those ladies, which are from Eastern Europe, would be too exciting g for our members. We are dull. The ladies we think want to come to the West to meet exciting men and do exciting things. If the ladies like dull men like us, they probably stay a home in Eastern Europe. But thank you anyway for writing to us. We always like to see what persons of all interests are up to. When we see sites like yours, it makes us all the more content that we admit and accept the fact that we are dull.

Sincerely,

DMC

Time — we like time

March 27, 2004

Dear DMC,

how long did it take u to make up this site?

Erika

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Dear Erika, It took lots of time. We like to take time to do things. Why rush? We like time. Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.

Sincerely,

DMC

We’re better than watching his humming bird feeder

March 14, 2004

Dear DMC,

I'm still bored. Thank-you. This is much more boring than watching my hummingbird feeder.

Danny C.

From an Assisted Living Unit in Omaha — help needed in coming up with a name for its new Men’s Club

March 14, 2004

Dear DMC,

I work at an assisted living in Omaha, NE. and I have been organizing a Men's Club. I was surfing the Net and found this Site. Do you have to be a member to join the Dull Man Club? Here are some things we have done: Cards, visiting and having special food such as beef tongue, pickled fish and pickled pig feet. We want it be a Gentleman's Club when once a month the men would get all dressed up. We put a call out to the community and people donated suits and ties for our men. I need some ideas. We have a group of ladies at our assisted living that belong to the "Red Hat Society" and now the men want to start something and that is where I come in. They have not come up with a name yet. Can you help me?

Janet Emken

Anchorage to Nome dog sled race — too much interest in it?

March 18, 2004

Dear DMC,

I am perplexed by some dull-like behaviour at our office. I tried to promote dullness by mentioning that I was following the Anchorage to Nome dog sled race. The winners average speed is usually about 4 mph and it takes over nine days. It was a close contest with the winner a mere 1 hr 40 minutes ahead of second place. To my dismay there was a huge interest to the extent that we had an office sweepstake. Should I be pleased that everyone has such dull lives they find this interesting or am I really not dull and need to confine myself to following transatlantic rowing or round-the-world yacht races.

Jon Taylor

Waiuku

We provide relief from researching taxation and australian administrative laws (does that mean we are too exciting?)

March 13, 2004

Dear DMC,

What a deflowering event it was to stumble upon your dull site. Certainly a match to researching taxation and australian administrative laws. A slight nod from your dull brothers in northern queensland. By the way, it's raining at the moment.

Peter Michaels

Our site is cool, he says

February 26, 2004

Dear DMC,

This website is so cool [exclamation point removed] Thank-you. I'll never be bored again.

Danny

Vail's Slowest Chair Lift

February 15, 2004

Dear DMC,

I enjoyed reading Grover’s blog entry [click here] about the slow chair lift at Vail. The article linked to from the blog entry was right up my alley. I have always enjoyed using Vail’s lift number 10. I too have “creaked up” the mountain on this lift. I too have enjoyed the lift’s “magnificent slowness” as it “crawled through the forest.” “It always reminds me of a simpler time . . . an escape from the rat race . . . it’s what skiing used to be about . . . so slow that we just had to do it again, and again [exclamation point removed].” Yours in dullness,

Mark Sitz

Silly Warning and Link to Principles of Railway Signaling in Great Britain

January 26, 2004

Hello fellow dull men,

I found this silly warning on the bottom of a box of cat food - 'Do not read whilst box is open' . I'm not sure if this was for the benefit of my cat or me. There was an exclamation mark at the end of it, but I don't want to upset anyone by including it. I thought you might like to include this link to a very uninteresting site which may be of interest to dull men everywhere:

Home Signal -- http://www.signalbox.org/

Have a browse. You won't be disappointed. Finally, may I say how heartening it is to see an advert for flannel sheets on your site. I love flannel sheets, and pajamas of course, they are just so cosy. I like to snuggle down in my flannel sheets, wearing my flannel pajamas whilst having a milky drink. I'm pleased to say that's as exciting as my bed-time gets. Cheerio,

Yours in dullness,

Darius

Son named "Okjaowesum"

January 26, 2004

greetings, fellow dullards....

when i was a wee lad in ye olde countrie (norway) i read this joke that i didn't get: about a woman who named her son "okjaowesum". naturally, this caused some curiosity as to the father's ethnicity. was he a foreigner ? no, an optometrist....

i just read the joke on your pages about the polack who visited his optometrist, and now i'm a little closer to getting the joke.

thanks.

Tomas Austad

History of Canning

January 19, 2004

Dear DMC,

I note with interest the piece about canning. It would appear that the facts contained on that page were wrong. Even Australia had canned food by 1815, whereas the patent mentioned on the webpage was granted in 1825. I am glad you had this article, however. Tin cans are worth the time spent investigating. http://www.cannedfood.org/history.html

Simon Brand

New Luggage Carousel — Skiathos Greece

January 14, 2004

Dear DMC,

New Airport carousel: Greece — Skiathos (JSI) No carousel! Baggage dumped on ground for passengers to rummage through. Too exciting for DMC, maybe? John Karban

[click here to get to our reports on Airport Luggage Carousels]

Ray of Sunshine . . . us?

January 8, 2004

Dear DMC,

Everyone tells me that I am dull and boring. It really used to bother me. But now that I have found your website I feel that I have found my ray of sunshine. How can I meet others in the same boat as me?

Matt Downie

Floss 'N' Cap

January 1, 2004

Dear DMC,

I love your list of New Year's Resolutions. Especially the first one: floss more. I have been a lifelong flosser. I was so pleased when I came across a new product in December:

http://aol.businessweek.com/magazine/content/03_50/photo_essay/0350pe_best_p.htm

I bought many of them to give as Christmas presents. It's Aquafresh's new Floss 'N' Cap. A tube of toothpaste with dental floss in its cap. Twenty yards of floss . . . life can't get much better than that, right?

Sincerely,

Florence ("Flossy") Zahne