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Thanksgiving Thankfulness List for Dull Men
What are you thankful
for?
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Is it for Turkey -- the blandest of foods?
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Is it for the bleak weather that always comes in November?
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The leaves that cover
your yard -- and the joy you get when raking them?
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The snow that covers
the ground -- and the joy you get when shoveling it?
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The color has gone
from your trees and grass?
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Uncle Jake and Aunt Mary come over for Thanksgiving Dinner . . . and talk . . . and talk . . . and talk? |
Twelve Reasons to Be Thankful You Burnt the Turkey
1. Salmonella won't be a concern.
2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.
3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year.
4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain
newfound appreciation.
5. Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.
6. No one will overeat.
7. The smoke alarm was due for a test.
8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular
workout.
9. You'll get to the desserts even quicker.
10. After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and
play football.
11. The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely
he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.
12. You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.
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