Blog — "Dullog"
Watching paint dry is breathtaking compared to waiting for the next drop from the Queensland University's Pitch Drop Study.
But excitement is rising now. Professor John Mainstone, who has run the experiment since the 1960s, says because a ninth drop looks set to emerge from the pitch block in the very near future.
Read more: Breaking News from Pitch Drop Experiment — 9th drop expected soon
Transport for London announced that it's beginning implementing a 20 mph speed limit an on experimental basis for the Waterloo Roundabout, the roundabout that circles the IMAX theatre.
Read more: Breaking news from London — 20 mph speed limit for Waterloo roundabout
8 May 2013 
Have you been longing to be in a curling competition but don’t like to be out on cold ice?
How about cheese rolling on the streets of a charming village?
Read more: Stilton Cheese Rolling — photos are rolling in from Monday's annual event
"The Poetry of Compost," by Paul Kingsnorth in Ecologist, May 2009
Our summary:
Even in darkest months of winter, your compost heap is a lively part of your garden. It continues to live, work, and grow.
29 April 2013
As tap water is the water of choice most often for dull men, we were glued to the tube watching the report on the testing.
In the United States, towns argue about which town's tap water taste the best. Blind tasting tests take place.
BBC now brings this to the U.K. Their coverage of this event is in the news today.
Many things divide north and south in Britain — not only weather and politics — there's also water.
Fundamentally, tap water across the UK is highly regulated and among the safest in Europe. But that doesn't necessarily cover taste.
Click here to view the taste testing on BBC.
Watching paint dry is breathtaking compared to waiting for the next drop from the Queensland University's Pitch Drop Study.
But excitement is rising now. Professor John Mainstone, who has run the experiment since the 1960s, says because a ninth drop looks set to emerge from the pitch block in the very near future.
Read more: Breaking News from Pitch Drop Experiment — 9th drop may drop soon
"Penguin Awareness Days" Facebook Page
Link to the page: https://www.facebook.com/PenguinAwarenessDays
We dull men like lifts/elevators. We like to ride them. We especially like it when there's more than one in the building — we like to race them.
But there's a new one that may cause problems for us — click on the photo to watch a video about it:
do it now
desktop
http://pinterest.com/amylynnbarrett/a-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place/
Dear DMC,
The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain - tragically, one of the very few things still great about Great Britain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFoS9bho2Ww&list=FLEvYguWXEuuB3IcCNkAOjmQ&index=1
From Ha-Ha Moment
-----------
-----------
Dear Ha-Ha,
Thanks for this. Truly great sounds.
Not only ukuleles and other string instruments but also whistling, humming, and some amazing sound effects.
DMC
Dull men often like to drink an Arnold Palmer (iced tea and lemonade.) It's less exciting than drinks made from alcohol.
The question has arises: how does Arnold Palmer order an Arnold Palmer?
NBC Today Show: "Has the U.S. become an exaggeration nation"
A segment about exaggeration in the U.S. on NBC's Today Show yesterday caught our attention.
We often wonder that. Why does everything have to be ether the "best" or the "worst"?
A DMC member sent this to us today:
There was a knock on the front door this morning.
I opened it to find a young, well-dressed man standing there who said, "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."
I said, "Come in and sit down."
I offered him a fresh cup of coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"
He said, "Beats me, nobody ever let me in before."
It'll be fine with me if you post this on Dullog but please don't show my name. I wish to remain anonymous. I don't want a stream of Witnesses flooding to my door.
Regards,
Anonymous DMC Member
For a couple of years, for some reason, I've been noticing burned out headlights. It seemed like headlights were burned out a lot, and usually the drivers side (left in US). Another "Dull Club" friend of mine suggested doing a survey to see what the "truth" really was.
At first we didn’t think this new product, Spray-On Sports Car, would be of any use to dull men.
But then we realized that, if the time ever comes when they want to sell their dull car, this product will enhance the car’s resale value.
A man from Plainfield, Illinois, Veniamin Balika, was arrested for stealing cheese. The arrest was made at a truck stop in New Jersey, the Vince Lombardi Service Area, after a tip-off from an informant.
Balika was caught red handed with 1,135 cases of cheese, 42,000 pounds of cheese. It was produced by K&K Cheese LLC in Cashton, Wisconsin.
It was Muenster cheese.
You can read more about this in the Chicago Tribune:
I don't have a car so roundabouts don't feature much in my dull existence, but roundabout art is something I'm getting into thanks to this great site:
It's a Dutch site but, even if you don't understand the language, there are dozens and dozens of great photos of roundabouts.
D. Ull
It's rare that a dull man is bold enough to pull an April Fool's Joke on someone.
Except perhaps the one about Paint That Never Dries that he might try out on fellow dull men.
There are some great ones, however, that we can't help laughing over:
+ 
Paint That Never Dries
Mixing motor oil with paint prevents the paint from drying.
Dear DMC
Here is a seasonal story:
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
London
Dear DMC
Twitter may seem a little too exciting for us. But can I recommend that Dull Men follow Commander Chris Hadfield, commander of the International Space Station - @Cmdr_Hadfield
The nurse brought a lunch tray to Norman Cousins who was in a hospital "laughing his way to wellness." The nurse also brought Mr. Cousins a cup for a urine specimen, saying that when convenient he should put a specimen in the cup, that she'd pick it up when she came back to pick up the tray.
Read more: April Fool's Day pranks coming up — here's a classic prank by Norman Cousins
To:
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Just thought you'd like to see a picture of our group small but growing club. We've averaging about a dozen guys each week which I think is pretty good for a new club only 2 months old.
Although it's too soon to tell for sure, so far it looks like the new pope not only was elected pope, he is a candidate for our list of Dull Men of the Year.
• Does things in line with our motto "Celebrating the Ordinary."
• Modest, plain, humble.
Read more: Pope Francis — candidate for Dull Man of the Year ?
Alastair and John Moffatt, brothers from Gloucester, set a new world record for parallel parking — only 13.1 cm (5.2 inches) of space between the cars.
Read more: New Guinness World Record — for tightest parallel parking
As we were reading about "Perils of Perfection," what came to mind were accidental inventions like penicillin, microwave ovens, Velcro, Ivory Soap.
Penicillin
Would not have been discovered if a petri dish had not been left uncovered.
Microwave Oven
Read more: "Pearls of Non-perfection": inventions resulting from flaws
Heidi, a rabbit, in life jacket — from BBC News Dorset
Dear DMC
Here is some delightful non-news: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-21647280
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
Enfield
Here's our synopsis of this uplifting news:
Heidi, a four-year-old rabbit from Dorset, has been undergoing hydrotherapy treatments for arthritis.
Read more: Great news: arthritic rabbit responding positively to hydrotherapy
Silicon Valley can fix anything? — “there’s an app for that”?
"The Perils of Perfection" in today's New York Times is about techies in Silicon Valley’s who are seeking to develop apps that will debug everything that is thought be undesirable. Flaws and failings will become things of the past.
Read more: "The Perils of Perfection" – Silicon Valley eliminating boredom?
http://travel.cnn.com/worlds-best-drinking-water-232371?hpt=hp_c3
Reports are in now from the 23rd annual Berkley Springs Water Tasting.
TIPS FOR STARTING A DULL MEN’S CLUB
by Dick Nickerson, Pembroke DMC
From my experience here in Pembroke, here are a few ideas that might be useful.
I suggest working with your Local Council on Aging or whatever exists in your local area. If they have a monthly newsletter put in an article. You might also approach the local churches they might be able to help you spread the word.
Don’t forget to put an article in your local newspaper, radio station and the local announcement page on cable TV.
Read more: Tips for Starting a Dull Men's Club Meeting — from Pembroke, Massachusetts
Where and When
Pembroke, Massachusetts
In parade celebrating 300th Anniversary of Pembroke
Meets 10:00 a.m every Wednesday
Pembroke Senior Center
144 Center Street
Pembroke, MA 02359
781-294-8220
FAX: 781-293-5801
Pembroke Senior Center
--------------------------------------------------
They're on Facebook — click here
Southborough, Massachusetts
Meets 10:00 a.m. every Friday
Southborough Senior Center
9 Cordaville Road
Southborough, MA zip
(508) 229-4453
From a recent edition of the senior center's newsletter:
"Some men just want to talk about simpler times. the Dull Men's club will meet every Friday morning at the Southborough Senior Center to enjoy simple, ordinary things—even if they're a bit dull."
Southborough Senior Center
Rapid City, South Dakota
Valparaiso, Indiana
Starting a meeting in your town?
We've assembled suggestions that might help:
• Tips from Pembroke — click here
• More tips — click here
• Topics — for lively discussions at meetings — click here
"Interesting Fact: There's a Yawning Need for Boring Professors" is the headline of an article in today's Wall Street Journal.
Subtitle: "The Study of Monotony Sees a Burst of Activity."
The article points out:
• Boredom studies are becoming an exciting field of inquiry.
• There is a boomlet in boredom studies.
• Boredom researchers contend theirs is a fascinating field.
• "Boredom is a gold mine," says a neuroscientist at a university in Ontario.
Drying laundry
"Boredom is in the eye of the beholder" — "One man's trash is another man's treasure."
Could it be that activities being researched are actually exciting to us dull men — what we call "Safe Excitement" on dullmensclub.com.
For example, watching these videos:
• Video of man mowing lawn
• Video of learning English as second language
• Video of hanging laundry out to dry
• Video about setting up a fish farm
Speaking of the Wall Street Journal, we too were in it — last July: "Area Man Joins Organization Where Nothing Much Ever Happens."
Informative and amusing — TED talk about how to save paper towels by using only one. Joe Smith enthusiastically demonstrates how this is done by first shaking hands 12 times and then using only one towel — after having folding the towel properly.
Joe says his method, if used by everyone, would save over 12 billions pounds of paper every year.
Read more: TED Talk: "How to use a paper towel" by Joe Smith
"Dull and Loving It, " an article in American Way, the inflight magazine of American Airlines (January 15 edition), is a vibrant portrait of a Pembroke Dull Men's Club meeting.
Click on image above to get to the article
Dear DMC,
Profound dullness: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/20/world/europe/in-norway-tv-program-on-firewood-elicits-passions.html
Lenore Rosenberg
New York
February 20, 2013
-----------------------
"Bark Up or Down? Firewood Splits Norwegians" is the headline of this New York Times article.
What is it that's dividing Norway? It's bark.
What does not divide Norway? It the love of discussing Norwegian wood.
"By doing less you might accomplish more" concludes a study by Stanford's Communication Between Humans & Interactive Media Lab.
"It's impossible to process more than one string of information at a time. The brain just can't do it."
"Yet some think people who appear to multitask must have superb control over what they think about and what they pay attention to."
"We kept looking for what they're better at, and we didn't find it," said Ophir, the study's lead author and researcher at the lab.
Click here to read the article.
The "Tips From the Redneck Book of Manners" that was emailed to us recently doesn't reflect behavior of dull men.
It's interesting to read, however. It confirms to us that we are glad we are what we are, and that there are worse things than being a dull man.
Eddy Cutter
Washington DC
TIPS
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.
Dining Out
1. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.
2. Avoid throwing bones and food scraps on the floor as the restaurant may not have dogs.
Entertaining in Your Home
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table no matter how good his manners are.
Personal Hygiene
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.
Dating (outside the family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: 'I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years
ago.'
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer,
it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
4. Always have a positive comment about your date's appearance, such as, 'Ya'll sure don't sweat much for a fat gal.'
Dating (inside the family)
[We're keeping these secret]
Weddings
1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create too sporty an appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
5. It is not appropriate to tell the groom how good his wife is in the sack.
Driving Etiquette
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is
loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires
always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is
impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
6. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
TWO REASONS WHY IT IS HARD TO SOLVE A REDNECK MURDER:
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records
From WBTV, Charlotte Virginia, click on image to view
As Food Editor of this website, I naturally spend time at supermarkets. When at supermarkets in the burbs I'm often annoyed at the shopping carts left throughout the parking lots.
I'm delighted there's a Return Shopping Carts Month. It's now — the whole month of February.
The problems and solutions about these wandering carts is nicely explained in the video "Common Cart Courtesy" I came across from WBTV, Charlotte Virginia.
More info about this month is on our Calendar.
Herb Aceous
New York
"Who, What Why? Why do criminals smuggle garlic"
a recent BBC news article
Dear DMC
Is this the dullest possible crime?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20976887
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
Enfield, North London
-------
Steve
These criminals will be the laughing-stock of the prison they're sent to.
How will "I'm in for garlic smuggling" sound to fellow inmates — drug dealers, car thieves, embezzlers?
DMC
Dear DMC,
My suggestion for dull man of the year is Harry Reid.
Boring. Speaks in monotone voice. Dull dresser.
Emil Bentgen
Cross Junction, Virginia
We googled his name coupled with the word “dull.” An fitting comment showed up [click here], apparently from someone watching him on TV:
Harry Reid is talking . . . DULL . . . DULL . . . DULL.
Does he ever get excited?
Cannot imagine the man having sex.
He is the most boring man to ever speak.
He needs to be jump started.
Reaction when news of this
nomination reached him
Here's more about a prominent aspect of the Papal Conclave — the means by which results are announced to the world.
Smoke.
Once the ballots are counted, they are burned in a special stove erected in the Sistine Chapel. The smoke escapes through a small chimney visible from St. Peter's Square.
Black smoke until the final vote when it's white smoke.
Dull men will be curious, naturally, as to what causes the black smoke to be black instead of white.
We found the answer thanks to Wikipedia.
Black Smoke. The ballots from an unsuccessful vote are burned along with a chemical compound to create black smoke, or (fumata nera). Years ago wet straw was used to produce the black smoke.But this was not completely reliable. The chemical compound is more reliable than the straw.
White Smoke. When a vote is successful, the ballots are burned alone, sending white smoke (fumata bianca) through the chimney and announcing to the world the election of a new pope.
At the end of the conclave, church bells ring to signal that a new pope had been chosen.
Dear readers,
Here's a Knock Knocker that was relevant here recently:
"Knock knock."
We Dull Men will be looking forward to waiting for and watching
white smoke arise from the Papal Conclave at the College of Cardinals
It's a dull looking roof isn't it.
Reading the rules for the Papal Conclave will provide safe excitement for our members — click here.
Sistine Chapel where the conclave will take place
• Dull men are reliable
• They are handy to have around the house
• Especially handy to have in the kitchen – they love to do the washing up
• When driving, unlike some men who believe “Real Men Don’t Read Maps,” dull men love to read maps
• And, afterwards, know how to fold up the maps
A dull man keeps the fridge sorted
QUOTES
"I like my dull man because he's always home. I don't worry when I can't find my keys."
Ellen in New York
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424127887324590904578287952597599648.html
Dull men have fond memories of Muzak
One of our DMC members, an easy-listening music composer, has written for Muzak
Dear DMC
Monopoly just became a slightly less dull game with the retirement of the iron token.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/monopoly-gamers-choose-cat-replace-iron/story?id=18413338
Here’s how HIGNFY reported this on Twitter:
“A cat token is to replace the iron in a new edition of Monopoly, after seeing off competition from a robot, helicopter and a Tesco Express.”
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
Enfield, North London
Click on this to order from Amazon
Dear Mr Click,
Mr Wilks's suggestion to have a State Funeral in Hyde Abbey (Winchester) seems rather colourful. [Click here to see the comment, it's at the end of the blog posting about King Alfred.]
It occurs to me that if such an event were to receive Royal Sanction, then it might be appropriate to plan the event for November or February when the weather is appropriately sombre and Her Majesty's Guards wear grey greatcoats to protect themselves from inclement weather.
As most members of the Royal Family are Colonels-in-Chief of one or other of the Guards Regiments, they could also wear grey coats so that all present reflected the dignity of the occasion.
Tim Ditchbank
Winchester
-------
Tim,
That's a good idea, especially the grey coats — our favorite colour.
DMC
849 - 899
5 February 2013
The race is on now that Richard III was found in a Leicester car park — to find out where King Alfred is around Winchester (as suggested on Radio 4 Today).
Read more: "The hunt is on" — for King Alfred — now that Richard III's been found
Proof that England is a safe place for dull men to be — where the most exciting news is discovering 528-year-old bones?
We've been able so far to cope with the excitement — by enjoying the jokes:
We dull men don't need this sign. We know now to count. We like to count. It's one of the things we do best.
A 200-year-old law forbidding women to wear trousers in Paris has finally been revoked.
Is this a reason now for men to visit Paris? — to see women wearing pants?
We thought men, except of course for dull men, went to Paris to see women wearing little or nothing — Moulin Rouge, etc.
Click here for the news about this — reported in The Telegraph.
I didn't know until this weekend that there's a website London Review of Breakfasts. I read about it in an article "The meaning of breakfast" in the Weekend Edition of the Financial Times.
Breakfast is a meal dull men really enjoy. As we typically go to bed early (we don't get out much), we are up early. And hungry.
We identify with the comment on the website: "We love the comforting crackle of a grill full of bacon and the promising hiss of a tea-bound kettle."
Dear DMC,
Brain damage, unfortunately, comes to mind when I read the Super Bowl hoopla.
Am not referring here to brain damage of people attending and apparently enjoying the razzle-dazzle, although one does wonder about that.
Am referring to brain damage to players — the disturbing fallout from football and similar damgerous sports that has now even reached the litigation stage: http://nflconcussionlitigation.com
-------
Read more: Super Bowl 47 — "brain damage"? — that's what comes to mind for a physician
Dull Men love slippers. Slippers are always a safe bet for a Valentine's gift give to a Dull Man.
Slippers can be found is all clothing and department stores.
We've come across some we particularly like — pictured above. We especially like the color. They are the ones pictured above. The are from Magellan's Travel Supplies:
These slippers are:
• Comfortable and practical
Dear DMC
This is possibly the most interesting thing in Enfield, North London.
Steve R
Enfield
Read more: Enfield, North London — do you know what it's famous for?
Hillary might be bored in Washington [click here] and Sasha as well [click here] — but Bill isn't:
Bill at the Inagural
No one has ever suggested Bill as a candidate for the Dull Men's Club. This, once again, confirms that.
A shade now for our 50 shades
We've had a new icon designed for our iPhone app. How do you like it?
If you've already downloaded the app, you can update it now to get the version with the new shade.
If you haven't downloaded the app yet, you can download it from here: https://itunes.apple.com/app/id583622678?mt=8
Inaugural Speech: Boring? This might be the case:
Sasha, Second Daughter, listening
For dull men and other readers of this who have not viewed the speech, here it is: http://www.policymic.com/articles/23773/youtube-obama-inaugural-speech-watch-the-video-and-read-the-full-transcript
A local Dull Men's Club is starting up at the Southborough Senior Center:
Fridays at 10:00 a.m.
9 Cordaville Road, Southborough, Massachusetts.
The Southborougn Daily Voice reports that some men just want to talk about simpler times. The Dull Men's Club will meet every Friday morning to enjoy simpler ordinary things — even if they're a bit dull.
Read more: Breaking News: DMC local meeting starts today in Southborough Massachusetts
The Wall Street Journal recently ran an article "Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure."
Article's subtitle: "The American Association for Nude Recreation is on a bare hunt."
Read more: "Nudists Seek Corporate Sponsor Looking for Greater Exposure"
Dear DMC,
Here's something possibly for the website's Collections & Museums page.
I've heard about New Englanders who were notorious for saving everything — “it might come in handy some day.”
When one of them died, the executor found his house crammed with boxes, contents neatly labeled.
"Pieces of String Too Short to Save" was a label on one of the boxes.
As we reported to you in late December, on New Year's Eve many of us Dull Men would be staying in (we don't get out much anyway) to practice writing 2013.
The reports are in now. It's been a resounding success. Not a single member has made a mistake and written 2012 on a check or other item after New Year's Eve.
"Parking Signs, Clutered and Confusing for Decades,
Are Revamped at Last," from The New York Times
NYC's transportation commissioner Janette Sadik-Khan said the old signs are "a cross between an Excel spreadsheet and a totem pole."
Right up our alley of "Celebrating the Ordinary", a beginners course of ukulele lessons — at The Idler Academy — 81 Westbourne Park Road, London — 0207 221 5908 — click here for info and sign up
Danny Wooton — "Ukulele Teacher to the Stars"
Dear DMC,
Reading the Dullog posting "New Year's Resolutions for Aspiring Entrepreneurs" — especially Resolution 9 "I will focus on just one thing" — reminded me of something I came across on YouTube — a good (and amusing) example of not focusing on just one thing — click here
Brian Blandford
London
According to an article we came across — “New year’s resolutions for aspiring entrepreneurs” by Francisco Dao — resolving to lose weight or start going to the gym is not good enough for aspiring entrepreneurs. They resolve to start companies.
Read more: New Year's Resolutions for Aspiring Entrepreneurs
Dear DMC — Happy New Year
Here is a seasonal compendium of useless knowledge from the BBC:
Click here to order from The New Yorker
[we mean order the cartoon, not the can]
A reader sent a card to us that is much too exciting — click here to view it.
Some of our members dulled it down some by turning on their mute buttons.
What to you think of it?
For Dull Men, this Snowsuit Issue, compared to
the Swimsuit Issue, is much more suitable [pun intended]
Dear DMC
From what I've seen about you guys, you are so nice — do you really need to make any New Year's Resolutions?
One your mottos is "Predicatble Reliable Safe" — it's on the back of a cap I have:
"Predictable Reliable Safe" — I don't see how you can get any better than that.
Fondly
Victoria Valmont
London
An exciting topic for Dull Men's Club meetings this time of year, especially for our apostrophizer members, is whether it should be "Seasons Greetings" or "Season's Greeting"?
Sincerely,
Graham Marr
Breaking News — Santa candidate for Dull Men's Club membership:
Sweden: Foreigner angered over gray Santa outfit
Associated Press – Tue, Dec 25, 2012
STOCKHOLM (AP) — Police in Sweden had to intervene after a foreign visitor to a spa and conference center grew angry because a visiting Santa Claus was wearing a gray instead of red costume.
In the current issue of The Atlantic there's a gripping article "Wrappers' Delight: A Brief History of Wrapping Paper."
The article credits two brothers, Joyce and Rollie Hall, with starting the use of decorative wrapping paper in the U.S. — in their stationery store in Kansas City Missouri in 1917.
Read more: "Wrappers' Delight: A Brief History of Wrapping Paper"
Snowglobes are a wonderful. They are fun to watch. A great way to enjoy winter. You can watch snow without having to go outdoors where it's cold and you get wet from real snow.
Read more: Snowglobes — Day 6's suggestion on our 12 Days of Christmas Gifts for Dull Men
Dear DMC,
I'm not sure what the overall position of you dull guys is on guns. But as you like avoid extremes, like Extreme Ironon (I agree with you about ironing on mountaintops, by the way, ironing in the basement is just fine), I expect you don't see the need for such easy access to assault weapons.
So I thought you will enjoy the picture above, which could well be what Rockwell would paint today is he were still with us.
From a DMC fan,
Nancy Newsome
Stockbridge, Massachusetts
Myrrh
Dull Men are often shy. Conversations can be difficult. Give him myrrh — a good conversation starter.
Myrrh was of course a gift at the original Christmas. According to Matthew 2:11, three Kings from the East brought gifts of myrrh to Jesus.
Assorted lots of myrrh, probably like what
the Three Kings brought to Bethlehem
Myrrh Trees
Available online, click here for an example
Old Fashioned Metronomes
Old fashioned metronomes can be bought at music stores and from online stores.
Click here to get to a big online music store we found on the
web that has many metronomes like the elegant one above
Online Metronome
Click here for an online metronome. It's easy to use right now. Simply choose a tempo on the dial, then click the "ON" button:
Metronome Apps
There are many metronome apps for iPhones, iPods, and iPads.
Ramping it up— Extreme Metronoming
Click here for a YouTube video of 100 metronomes.
It's not going to happen:
French police at Bugarach are prepared, however — just in case:
Dear DMC,
Before I retired I was in the habit of bringing home the plastic tubes that came inside the paper used in the large laser printer thinking they might be more useful at my house than in the landfill.
I might have been mistaken. But looking at them today, after receiving the latest DMC Newsletter, I had a thought.
Could they be cut to various lengths to make a musical instrument? If so, would anyone want to form a Gray Men Group to play said instrument?
Anonymous
December 20, 2012
Dear DMC,
Shortly after I'd downloaded and played around with the new app Favorite Shades of Gray, I heard an nice story about the book Fifty Shades of Grey. I attach the story below. If confirms what I thought — the new app is much safer for us Dull Men than the book.
Henry Morris
McLean, Virginia
-----------------
Story:
Four guys have been going to the same fishing trip for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Ron's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Ron's mates were really upset that he couldn’t go, but what could they do?
Two days later the three get to the camping site to find Ron sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, dinner cooking on the fire — and sitting down having a cold beer.
“Ron, how long you been here, and how did you talk your missus into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since last night. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my living room chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and asked, 'Guess who?’”
“I pulled her hands off, and there she was, wearing a nightie. She took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom."
"The room had candles and rose petals all over. Apparently she's been reading Fifty Shades of Grey. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes [exclamation point removed] She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, so I did."
And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
"So, here I am guys. Grab yourselves some beers."
Dull Men love slippers. Slippers are always a safe bet for a Christmas gift give to a Dull Man.
Slippers can be found is all clothing and department stores. Recently we came across some we like. Paritualy their color. They are the ones pictured above. The are from Magellan's Travel Supplies: http://www.magellans.com/men-s-travel-slippers
These slippers are:
• Comfortable and practical
• Comfortable because they have cushioned soles — as well as small ridges that massage as you walk (nothing exciting, only a mild massaging suitable for Dull Men)
• Practical because they prevent feet contacting with bad things around swimming pools, locker rooms, etc. — like viruses that cause plantar warts
• Practical because they prevent slipping on slipery surfaces (so why are they called "slippers?")
* Practical because they are washable
* Easy to slip on (is this why they are called "slippers"?)
* Perfect when traveling — they come with a travel case or simply lay them out flat in your suitcase
* Even sturdy enough for short jaunts outdoors
• They come in a gray/black. Also solid black.
Christmas Quackers
——————————
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Ho Ho Ho
——————————
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
It soots him
——————————
What's Santa's favorite cereal?
Frosties
——————————
Where does Santa stay when he travels?At the Ho Ho Hotel
——————————
Why would you remove your door bell?
To win the no bell prize
——————————
How does the Pacific Ocean greet the Atlantic Ocean?
It waves
——————————
What did the snowman say to the other snowman who was standing next to him?
I think I smell carrots
——————————
What do you give a railway station master for Christmas?
Platform shoes
Christmas Crackers — a British Tradition — History and Background
For viewers of this page who are not familiar with the British Christmas tradition of Christmas crackers, we'd like to offer some background.
Christmas crackers are brightly colored paper tubes that are placed on each plate at Christmas parties.
The tube is constructed so that, when pulled on each end, the tube "cracks" open. A paper slip with a joke on it and a paper crown fall out.
Christmas crackers were invented by Thomas Smith in 1846 when he was visiting Paris. He came across a bon-bon, which is a sugar-almond wrapped in tissue paper. Smith began importing bob-bons to England.
The bob-bons sold well in England at Christmas but not at other times of the year.
In the 1850s, Smith started putting mottoes in the bob-bons. As many of the bon-bons were bought by men to give to women, many of the mottos were love poems.
In 1860, Smith added the banger — two strips of chemically impregnated paper that made a cracking sound when pulled apart.
Over time, jokes replaced the love poems.
More information about this can be found on this website: http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/xmas/crackers.html
——————————
The Vision Toaster by Magimix:
Experience the only see-thru toaster — a viewing window that lets you watch the toasting process in action.
Click here to view it on Magimix's website. You'll see that it comes in four colors. Most Dull Men will want the cream one, certainly not the red one, and probably not black or silver.
Click here to watch it on YouTube. We should warn you, however — it might be too exciting for you — it shows toast popping up.
Fifteen years of research and development led to the ultimate toaster for us Dull Men. We've been hoping for a toaster like this so we could watch toast toast. Now we have it — a toaster with a panoramic view of toast toasting.
Magimix Managing director Simon Kinder, in an article “Transparent toaster sees end of burnt toast” in The Telegraph said they could have rushed the product into production four years ago but held off because they wanted it to be perfect.
Kinder said, “The idea is incredibly simple and we started with the concept of creating a toaster where you could watch the toast browning 15 years ago. The problem was that we wanted to create something very simple which worked perfectly and did not obscure the view of the toast. We tested it to destruction and now we are happy we have a brilliant product which is well designed and looks great at the same time.”
“The response has been phenomenal,” Kinder added.
The article ends with fascinating points about the history of toast and toasting:
- The word “toast” came from the Latin word “tostum,” which means scorch or burn.
- Romans spread toast across Europe.
- The modern toaster were invented by Frank Shailor, a technician with GE, who created his D12 toaster in 1909.
- Shailor invented his toaster so people could still eat bread that was going stale.
- After a decade of people getting their fingers burnt, the first pop-up toaster was invented in 1919.
- The first automatic toaster, the Toastmaster, was invented in 1926.
- Once a machine to slice bread was invented — invented in 1928 by Otto Frederick Rohwedder who lived in Chillicothe, Missouri — no home could be without a toaster.
Here’s the URL to The Telegraph article in case you want to read more about toasters: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6931661/Transparent-toaster-sees-end-of-burnt-toast.html
Click here to start heading to Apple's App Store to download
It's a free app. It'll make a great "Stocking Stuffer" for Christmas.
The app features 50 shades of gray. The shades are numbered, which make them even more interesting for Dull Men.
If you don't find your favorite shade on it, please send your favorite shade to us and we'll get it on the next version.
After you've viewed the shades on the screen titled "50 Shades" (the second screen of the app), you can take the Poll by clicking on the button that says "Poll" in the upper right corner of that screen.
The poll asks users to indicate their favorite shades, both for standalone gray and two-tone gray.
We're looking forward to reading results from the poll and tabulating them.
12 Days of Gifts — Dull Men's Club Suggestions
We are starting a 12-day series of suggestions for Christmas gifts.
We are still working on the list. If you have suggestions for it, please email them to us: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Dear DMC,
I'm not sure whether admitting my fondness for Twinkies, Ho Hos, Cupcakes, and Ding Dongs will jeopardize my DMC membership. I hope it won't.
I've been following the outcome of Hostess Bakeries — I just now heard some breaking news about what'll be happening to the various parts of the company.
Joe Kerr
New York
PS: I also liked Wonder Bread
From Herb Aceous, Food Editor, DullMensClub.com
1. No need to worry about salmonella
2. Guests will think your turkey is Cajun blackened
3. Uninvited guests will think twice next year
4. Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain
new fans
5. Pets won't bother you for scraps
6. No one will overeat
7. Smoke alarm due for a test
8. Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular
workout
9. You'll get to desserts quicker
10. After dinner, take the bird to the yard and play football
11. You won't be putting up with three weeks of turkey sandwiches
Now explain it to her:
Christmas Card — in stunning two-tone gray:
Dear DMC,
With Thanksgiving arriving, I think we need to recognize what clever birds turkeys are. Their survival skills are amazing.
Robert Parrish
Grand Junction, Colorado
When thanksgiving rolls around, we Dull Men are thankful for:
- Turkey dinner — turkey, the blandest of meats
- All those boring conversations at Thanksgiving Dinner
- The bleak weather that arrives in November
- The fact that color has gone — gone from trees, shrubs, and grass
- Leaves are everywhere — they are so much fun to rake
- There's also snow — it's so much fun to shovel
- That fact that they are not turkeys
The actual, uncensored sound track from the fall was leaked to YouTube. I came across it recently. It scared the bejesus out of me.
It proves that jumping from a plane like this clearly is not for us Dull Men.
Click here to listen to it.
E.Z. Pace
Indianapolis, Indiana
Dear DMC,
We Dull Men like to work in the kitchen, we're good at it. A favorite thing to do in the kitchen is kneading dough. One of our heroes is the Phillsbury Doughboy.
I saw this sad news in the newspaper:
Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.
Sign posted once Hurricane Sandy struck
Dear DMC,
DMC members apparently are not the only ones who avoid excitement. It looks like FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) is in the same boat.
Hurricane Sandy was too much for them to deal with?
If hurricanes are too much for FEMA, what kind of emergencies was it set up to handle?
Tom Bland
New York
Dull Men exercising: favorite exercises are strolling, sauntering, meandering. They also amble. Jogging is OK, is slowly. But treadmills should be avoided:
Amazing foresight: Baumgarter drew this when he was five years old
Dear DMC
Felix Baumgartner is unlikely to apply for DMC membership for a while. However this article about his childhood ambitions seems to have attracted some interest from the online community of dull men:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/shortcuts/2012/oct/16/felix-baumgartner-kids-drawings
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
London
Shop Amazon - Holiday Gift Cards - Instant Delivery or Free One-Day Shipping
Do you get annoyed with all those subscription solicitation cards that fall out of magazines?
Pop the cards in a mailbox. Let them go back to the magazine company. The company needs to pay the postage even if the cards are not filled out. But if you want to file them out [dull men like to fill out forms], instead of writing your name and address, express your thoughts about these cards.
Read more: Those annoying subscription cards inserted in magazines
Hot off the press, some of "All the News That's Fit to Print" from the New York Times is an article about chickens in a park in Brooklyn.
A NIMBY ("not in my backyard") battle began when members of the Warren-St. Marks Community Garden in Park Slope brought eight clucking hens into the garden.
The pro-chicken residents say the chickens are good to have in the garden. They improve the environment there by eating scraps and contributing to the garden's compost pile.
The anti-chicken residents say the chickens stink and might bring flies, vermin, lead poisoning, and possibly even avian flue into the neighborhood.
We dull men would have enjoyed being at a meeting of local residents Sunday when discussed, in detail, composting and chicken coop wiring. And a city rat consultant explained that the chickens were rat-free.
Hopefully the dispute is resolved soon. "I want to get along with my neighbors — I don't want a chicken to get between me and my neighbor," says Ibon Muhammad, a Warren Street resident since 1980.
To read the NYT article, click here
The folks in Washington DC certainly know how to celebrate the ordinary. Yesterday a special ribbon-cutting ceremony was held for the reopening of the city's subway escalators at the Dupont Circle South Entrance:
The entrance was closed for 8.5 months for a complete rebuilding of the escalators.
It's exciting to read about how the work was done, as reported in huffingtonpost.com:
"Working in a narrow space with the proportions of a drinking straw, the old escalators, each weighing nearly 55 tons, had to be cut into 24 separate sections and individually moved out of the entrance on three separate cranes. Then each section of the new escalators had to be installed 24 sections in all, each traveling on 3 cranes. In total, there were nearly 150 crane picks during the project, many happening late at night with 19th Street closed to vehicular traffic."
Additional articles about this are in myfoxdc.com and in washingtonpost.com.
Members of the Pembroke DMC continue to do stuff that delights readers.
The Boston Globe reports on one of their meetings: http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2012/10/17/dull-men-club-celebrates-the-ordinary-pembroke/1k8y9FiOYIOgBeo49gZzbM/story.html
A great joke told at the meeting is included in the article:
"One member launched into an amusing story about a drug test that took place at his place of work. He said one of his colleagues refused to urinate in the plastic cup and instead filled it with apple juice. Later on, when the nurse approached the colleague, he grabbed the cup back from her and said, “Here, let me put it through again [exclamation point removed]” He put the cup to his lips, tipped it back, and drank it, as the nurse looked on in horror."
Actually, high winds did this.
It happend near Chappell, Nebraska — near the DMC's back office (our favorite place to work).
Our member there who took this picture said it’s the most exciting thing he’s seen there in quite a while.
Holgate Mill Roundabout, in York
Here's an article no dull man will want to miss:
Cheers
Ian McIver
Brisbane, Australia
-----------------------------------
Wow. A multitasking roundabout. A roundabout that generates power. What will they think of next?
I was gobsmacked," said Kevin Beresford, president of the Roundabout Appreciation Society. Beresford added that this one is the Holy Grail of roundabouts, unlike most roundabouts that are merely "an oasis in a sea of asphalt."
Read more: Holgate's "Roundabout 'round a Windmill" — chosen for 2013 Roundabout Calendar's cover
I was watching CBS's "Sunday Morning" yesterday. There was an amazing story about a traffic copy in LA — Elton Simmons — who has an amazing record of complaints from drivers he's issued tickets to.
Zero complaints. That's for 25,000 arrests over a 20-year period.
Read more: Traffic Cop — a great one — we need many more like this
Prarie Home Companion — next week, October 20: Joke Show — "Pretty Good Jokes"
I was listening to Prairie Home Companion yesterday and the repeat today. They announced that next week's show will have more of their jokes.
If you like the jokes on our Groaners page, you'll like the jokes on Prairie Home Companion.
"You could see it grow," said Ron Wallace of Greene, Rhode Island, grower of a 2009 pound pumpkin.
The pumpkin grew at the rate of 40 pounds a day.
Watching a pumpkin like this growing is a great kind of safe excitement for dull men.
Just as breaking the sound barrier was to aerospace and running the four-minute mile was to sports, the Holy Grail for giant pumpkin people is this one-ton pumpkin. For decades, pumpkin growers have been pursuing this.
CBS News, "One-ton pumpkin shatters weight record, click here
October 3, 2012
Swanson TV dinner — long a meal of choice for us dull men. That's why we were pleased to see the article "Kid's meal of choice" by Craig Wilson in today's USA Today.
Read more: A kid's meal of choice: Swanson TV Dinner (some years back)
I read that the presidential candidates trying to lower expectations for Wednesday's debate.
It reminds me of an advantage I enjoy as a dull man. We come with lower expectations.
Life's easier. Less is expected of me.
Sincerely,
Wynn Underwood
Columbus Ohio
Kitchen Window
As a card carrying member of the DMC who likes to “Celebrate the Ordinary,” and also a member of one of those 12-step outfits, I thought I’d share with readers something I came across a few days ago: “Don’t overlook the wonder of the ordinary.” It was in a daily email from Hazelden in Minnesota. Here are excerpts:
Don't overlook the wonder of the ordinary.
The extraordinary, the amazing, the phenomenon are daily glorified in the movies, the news, and on television. Our senses become bombarded. We become addicted to drama. The only things that get our attention are the big, catastrophic, knee-jerking events.
Entomologist and pest expert Hal Coleman — better known as “The Internet Bug Guy” — he shares, on video, tips and facts that the insiders — the professional exterminators — don’t want you to know — click here — but be forewarned: there are some exclamation points.
Hello
I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for a website full of useful information, in particular the list of luggage carousels in airports with has saved me several seconds and given me somewhat of a reputation in the Scandinavian aviation society.
I have been to Arlanda several times and I am fairly certain that the carousels are going counter clockwise. I might of course be mistaken so I implore you to use your, I am sure, vast connections to verify my claim.
Regards
Martin
Stockholm
The club took part in the Pembroke Massachusetts' 300th anniversary parade on Sunday September 23. It was a big event — 16 bands in eight divisions.
We now have new black with gold shirts and matching hats.
The antique car we rode in belongs to member Tiny Brown. The magnetic signs on the sides of the car had the club's logo.
Dick Nickerson
Pembroke DMC
The Dull Man will always wish to ensure when he travels to foreign parts that he takes the power adaptor(s) necessary to connect his electrical appliances to the local supply.
Click here to read the article
The article has "aroused lots of mirth locally [exclmation mark removed]" its author, Jane Bakowski, reports in an email us.
Here is some dull news from Harrogate, Yorkshire, about prize-winning giant vegetables.
The onion in the picture weighs 18 pounds – or as much as two reasonably-sized babies.
http://www.anorak.co.uk/333435/the-consumer/harrogate-autumn-flower-show-photos-of-massive-vegetables.html/
Regards
Steve Reszetniak
London
World Gurning Championships — held Saturday 15 September
in Egremont in Cumbria
Tommy Mattinson, winner
Read more: World Gurning Championships 2012 — Mattinson wins 14th year in a row
Reported in the Ecco:
Two men in a dinghy were almost left stranded after their engine failed in blustery conditions.
The men were just 50 yards off the beach at The Leas, Westcliff [east coast of England] when the dinghy's engine cut out.
- Today: World Gurning Championships — in Egremont in Cumbria — click here
New entrants ? . . . . . . :
-----------------------------------------------------------
Hey, how about me?
There a many art exhibits that are far too exciting for dull men. We came across one, however, that we like. It has only five photos. Five stunning photos of bus stops.
Not only are the photos of something quite ordinary — the bus stops go nowhere. There are no buses.
In fact, they are not even on roads that buses travel on. They are on the grounds of nursing homes in Germany.
They are fake.
They are for patients suffering from dementia. The patients wait at the bus stops until they are escorted back inside or return of their volition, having forgotten where it is they won’t be going that day.
Click here to see all five photos in the magazine. Which one of the five is your favorite?
This week's New Yorker has exhigit of photos by Timo Klos.
Thanks to Gerry Cook and Steve Reszetniak for clueing us in on this
Dear DMC
Here is a real silly season story.
Reports of a lion on the loose in Essex were a slight exaggeration. It was only a big pussycat.
"Was Essex 'Lion' a Pet Cat?, " click here
Regards
Steve Reszetniak
London
---------------------
Thanks Steve.
This will be quite a relief to quite a few of our DMC members, those who are caravaners.
A related article says the police have called off their search:
"Police Call Off Search for Essex Lion, " click here
Now our cavaning members can breath a sign of relief knowing it’s safe to go to St. Osyth Caravan Park again.
DMC
I must admit that I sometimes feel sleepy after a meeting. Now I know that this is due to the heroic amount of energy I expend in sitting down for minutes at a time.
Read more: Gold Medals for Daily Chores—chores burning calories than Olympic events?
Reports from London 2012 are still trickling in. This one is really amusing. Watch all the way to the end if you have the time/ The best part is at the end:
Compass
Level
Have you seen this? Very interesting.
http://flowingdata.com/2012/08/08/celebrating-the-joy-of-metering/
Kurt Kessler
Lexington Kentucky
As we in the DMC relish the ordinary and have a distaste for the extraordinary, the phrase “the curse of the ordinary” in the opening paragraph of a recent article the New York Times caught our eyes. The article is “Finding the Facebook Magic” by Peter Eavis.
The article says “it’s all about valuations” and “the transition from extraordinary to ordinary is brutal.” It points out that the hyping of the share value for the public offering was based on projections of amazing, extraordinary profits. Then came the nightmare when investors stopped believing in the hype.
Moral of the story: stick with ordinary, steer clear of extraordinary — "Celebrate the Ordinary."
The Rev. Al Sharpton host of NBC's show PoliticsNation, talks about snail racing when talking about summer breaks, observing that snails move as fast as Congress. Click here to watch the race.
There's nothing wrong with coming in second. In fact, it can be very rewarding. After all, it's the second mouse that gets the cheese:
A Class Act — Zara Phillips — "Chuffed" with Silver
she won with UK Equestrian Team — truly royal behavior
A different viewpoint — obviously ungracious
American gymnast McKayla Maroney
Dear DMC
There are some fine queues here. Note that The Times Fast Track entrance is not so popular. Clearly the queuing experience is diminished there so it's avoided.
Joining queues gives the opportunity to enlighten confused visitors, particularly those from overseas, talk about the weather and discover the price of burgers and CocaCola in countries all over the world.
I met a gentleman from Tajikstan who told me with some pride that his country had won one bronze medal for boxing and another from Latvia who had won a medal for Beach Volleyball. I think I might check out the beaches in Latvia for my holiday next year.
Tom Ditchfield
Winchester
Dear DMC
The lavatory queues are fine too. Here you see a group of people discussing the possibility of joining the existing queue or perhaps forming a new one.
The sixth cubicle is clearly very popular, so that's a hard one.
Tom Ditchfield
Winchester
Dear DMC
Empty seats in the Stadium. Can only think its because people are still queuing at the 2012 Store.
Tom Ditchfield
Winchester
See previous article in El País, click here.
This is the queue for the souvenir store — the London 2012 Megastore in Olympic Park.
I'm here. The queues are real. They are exciting. They are fantastic. 2012 will be the year to remember.
Tom Ditchfield
Winchester
8 August 2012
Sent from my emd
We wish we could find a website or other facility that provides live information on queues — where they are and their size.
We can't fine one. The best we can do is a blog post of articles queuing at the London Olympics. We will be updating the report with our own research as well as content contributed by readers, about queuing at the London 2012 Olympics.
If queuing is a favorite pastime for you, as it is for many Brits, you can use these articles to find queues. If you want to avoid queues, you can find where to go.
------------------
7 August — Telegraph — "Long queues for trains to London 2012 Olympic park" — http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/9449135/Long-queues-for-trains-to-London-2012-Olympic-park.html#disqus_thread
29 July — Guardian — "Dressage spectators miss key moment queuing" — http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-18981998
27 July — BBC News — "Olympic football delay at St James' Park 'unacceptable'" — http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-19013655
26 July — BBC News — "Queues for Olympic football at Newcastle's St James' Park" — http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-18981998
25 July — ABC News (Australia) — "Olympic ticket queue strectches for hours" . . . "Australina trying to collect their pre-paid Olympic tickets in London have been forced to wait for up to nine hours in hot weather" — http://www.abc.net.au/news/2012-07-25/olympic-ticket-queue-stretches-for-hours/4154816
23 July — Daily Mail — "Foreign visitors forced to queue for hours in 27C heat after administrative error means they can't get their Olympics tickets" — http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2177859/London-Olympics-2012-Visitors-forced-queue-hours-27C-heat-tickets-administrative-error.html
Dear DMC
Samantha Cameron speaks up for the joy of accounting. (Mrs Cameron is married to David Cameron, who is something in politics over here.)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/aug/05/samatha-cameron-vogue-interview?INTCMP=SRCH
Read more: UK PM's wife Samantha Cameron speaks up for joy of accounting
How to Get Things Really Flat
Enlightenment for Every Man on Ironing,
Vacuuming and Other Household Acts
Examples of what's covered:
When dusting, where does the dust go?
How to load a dishwasher without inducing comments
What’s the worst thing that can happen during ironing?
Toilet cleaning — an overview
This book is in our aStore, click here
No list of roundabouts is complete without the one in the center of East Longmeadow MA.
It is in the Guinness Book of Records.
It has seven roads which go into it: North Main, Somers, Prospect, Pleasant, Maple, Elm and Shaker.
Hooray for dullness.
Frank Driscoll
Here is a useful link about the engineering properties of sand castles. It's mostly about the moisture content.
Best wishes
Steve Reszetniak
London
Read more: "The Physics of Sand Castles" — from The Economist
I was in the U.K. when the games began. Was watching them live on TV there. Monday flew to Dulles (one of our favorite dull airports). Duller to watch them here in the U.S.
There's a five-hour time delay. By the time I see the games on TV, I already know the winners.
Which games are dull to watch? Rowing? Same motions over and over again? Same countries always win (U.S., U.K., Germany)?
Grover
August 2, 2012
Dear DMC
I have always believed that it is a good idea to leave two spaces after a full stop (period). This man disagrees very forcefully. I have no idea if he is right, but this looks like a good topic for discussion by dull men.
Read more: Good meeting topic: after each sentence—one or two spaces?
Pole dancing classes have been a fitness craze in recent years. It's now moved beyond being a fad. Dancers from all over the world participate in pole dancing competitions. The most recent one was held on March 15, 2012 in Hong Kong.
"It can be extremely challenging. It's Olympic level difficulty depending on what the style is," said pole dancer Becca Butcher.
Tim Trautman, president of the Interiational Pole Sport Federaton is leading an effort to make pole dancing an Olympic Sport. For their application to the Olympic Committee, we suggest that they kick off the high heels and remove the eroticism, at least some of it.
We like mazes. They are a fine form of safe excitement for us.
That's why we enjoyed so much today watching the Olympic Torch being carried into and back out of the amazing maze at Hampton Court Palace.
You too can enjoy watching this, it's now on YouTube, click here
Sheep shearing, Queen watching
The New Zealand Federated Farmers says the time has come to elevate sheep shearing to Olympic status. "The world's top shearers are athletes who take it to another level," according to the farm group.
This is reported in The Huffington Post, including a video of the sport, click here.
And in Aljazeera, also with a video, click here.
We are watching the excitement of the Olympics and looking at the list of events.
We wonder why some wonderful long-standing English events are not on the list. After all, as was recognized years ago in the Official Report for the 1908 London Olympic Games [click here], "England is the cradle of so many forms of athletic sport."
The organizers of the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships tried, unsuccessfully, to get Black Pudding Throwing to be an event in the London 2012 Olympics.
We hope they try again for the 2016 Olympics, which will take place in Rio de Janeiro.
In the application for Olympic status, since the shot put is an Olympic sport, naming it the the "pudd put" might help it qualify.
In this event, competitors throw black puddings at a stack of a dozen Yorkshire puddings on a 30-foot high plinth. Competitors have three turns in an attempt to knock down as many Yorkshire puddings as possible. The black puddings must be thrown underarm.
Black Pudding Throwing stems from the ancient rivalry between Lancashire and Yorkshire during the War of Roses, a war fought spasmodically 1455-1485. Two rival branches of the Royal House of Plantagenet, the House of Lancaster and the House of York, were fighting each other. The troops ran out of traditional military ammunition. So they threw food.
The present championships take place at The Royal Oak pub, which is in Ramsbottom, near Manchester. They take place on the second Sunday of September every year. Contestants come from England, Scotland, Wales, South Africa, Australia and many other countries.
It's on our Calendar, click here. For the blog called "World Black Pudding Thrower Diary," click here.
If air rifle shooting and the biathlon are Olympic sports why not pea shooting?
Peashooting began in 1971 in the Cambridgeshire village of Witcham. Competitions have been held every year since then. This year the 42nd Annual World Peashoting Competition was held on July 14. It was on our Calendar, click here.
It all began when the village schoolmaster, John I. Tyson, caught mischievous pupils amusing themselves by pinging their unfortunate schoolmates with peas. He confiscated the offending weapons.
Around the same time the village had identified a need for a village hall and they were seeking ways to raise funds, John suggested a World Peashooting Championship. The idea was an instant success and is central to each year's fund-raising activities to this day.
Although innovations like laser sights and telescopic sights are being used by some shooters now, traditionalists are holding their own. The innovations have, however, been a source of keen interest from the media and raised the national profile of the event.
Participants and spectators come from, the U.S., Scandinavia, France, Spain, New Zealand, Holland and many other countries.
The secret to wining? “It’s all about selecting the right pea,” says former world champion George Hollis, a local from Witcham.
Click here to get to Witcham's website about this big event.
Stilton
Cheese rolling is an annual event in Stilton, a village in Cambridgeshire. Hundreds of villagers and visitors line the racecourse that begins at The Bell Inn and ends at the bottom of Fen Street and Church Street. Contestants group together in teams of four.
Click here to read about it on our Calendar page.
---------------
Gloucester
An eight pound large round Gloucester cheese is set rolling down Cooper's Hill, a steep hill in Gloustershire. Participants chase the cheese down the steep slope. There's ittle hope they'll catch up with the cheese. There's lots of sprawling, rolling, tumbling.
The first to the bottom wins the cheese.
Medics are on hand to carry injured participants off the hill, usually on stretchers. Safety nets are on each side of the course to protect spectators.
Queuing
Meeting Room
The first thing to do is find a place to meet. There are many possibilities: local community centers, schools, churches; restaurants often have back rooms available for meetings; perhaps one of your members has a garage that could be used for the meeting.
Chairs
What kind of chairs? Folding chairs are convenient to store away if that needs to be done. Chairs with arms are more comfortable.
Read more: Suggestions for Starting DMC Meeting in Your Town
Today's Wall Street Journal writes about the very active (at least as active as dull men ever get) Dull Men’s Club in Pembroke Massachusetts and also about our website — if you are one of us — or are interested or curious about us, you’ll enjoy reading this article.
Click here to read the article. There’s also a hilarious video, click here to watch it.
July 20, 2012
- Snow shovels
- Oil Change Intervals
- Tire rotation
- One or two spaces after a sentence? click here
- Filing systems
- Staples versus paper clips
- Favorite shades of gray — click here to see our iPhone app about this
- Apostrophizing
In yesterday’s International Herald Tribune, there was an article that naturally caught our eye: “Celebrate Boring Africa Aid.”
America’s foreign aid in Africa these days is taking a down-to-earth approach. It’s focusing on agriculture. Results are mixed.
On the plus side, the initiatives are cost-effective and potentially transformative.
On the negative side, they’re boring. The aid to African farmers doesn’t wow Congress or voters.
But, even though it’s boring, it’s succeeding.
Fields are being irrigated for the first time — with pumps powered by foot pedal treadle pumps resembling elliptical machines from an American gym. A picture of this multitasking shown above.
To get to the article, click here.
July 14, 2012
In today's International Herald Tribune — "From the top, a new tone in France":
"Mr Ordinary," Francois Hollande, France's new president, is impressing the French with his down-to-earth style.
In sharp contrast to the "bling-bling" of the presidency of Nicolas Sarkosy.
• Hollande took the train instead of plane to a meeting in Brussels recently.
• Ministers to travel coach class on planes.
• Smaller cars for government officials.
• Champaign is at receptions replaced with Muscadet
Click here to get to the article.
July 13, 2012
Dear DMC,
This week I've been watching the "Running of the Bulls" in Spain on TV. Shame on me. It's not a suitable sport for a Dull Man like me.
Dear DMC
This is a sort of public service announcement. Dull men may have become aware of a new book entitled "50 Shades of Grey" by E L James.
I was rather hoping this might be something for us, but after doing a little research I have come to the conclusion that E L James is not a dull man; and that this book is not likely to be of interest to dull men. I could say more, but I think that is quite enough.
Sincerely
Steve Reszetniak
London
-------------------------------------
Dear Steve,
We agree. The title sounds like it's right up our alley, grey being our favorite color. But the books are too frisky for us.
Shades of grey is sometimes a topic at our meetings.
And many of us have the suits in our closet hung based on shades of grey, usually from light grey upwards to dark grey.
DMC
It caught our eye: an article "Redefining Success and Celebrating the Ordinary" by Alina Tugend, New York Times, June 29 — because of the words "Celebrating the Ordinary" — words that have long headed up our logo, which is at the top of this page.
The article laments that there being no place any longer for people who live ordinary lives. No place for people who are good citizens but are not setting the world on fire. Ordinary and average are out, extraordinary and above average are in.
Even in Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon "all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and all the children are above average".
The article builds upon a commencement address, "You're Not Special," given at Wellesley High School in Massachusetts that went viral. The address was given by one of the school's English teachers, David McCullough Jr. (son of David McCullough, Pulitzer Prize-winning historian).
After citing accomplishments of the graduates, McCullough said, "But do not get the idea you're anything special. Because you're not."
Read more: "Redefining Success and Celebrating the Ordinary"
Dear DMC,
I believe that for anyone who likes queues, and the majority of English members of the DMC must surely love them, the 2012 Olympics is going to be the place to go to join the most phenomenal queues of the decade, if not the century.
Forget airports, railway stations and checkout queues at Sainsbury's and Tesco. Everyone is going crazy just waiting for the queues to start, let alone getting into them and being part of them.
They've sold 8 million tickets already. You're never going to find 8 million people at an airport or a railway station or a supermarket. No. The only place you're going to find eight million people this year is at the Olympics and the queues are going to break all records. That's for sure. I'm really grateful that I can be part of this.
Tom Ditchfield
Winchester
16 June 2012
Dear DMC,
I know some fathers are worried they won't get cards from their kids on Father's Day.
As a happy bachelor, I'm worried too — that I might get cards.
Cheers,
Randy Amore
Loveland, Colorado
Will queuing become an Olympic Sport?
It was invented in 1899. It hasn't been improved since. What is it?
Yours
François Gojat
France
Read more: The mighty paper clip—invented in 1899, not improved upon since
Goldman Sachs announced Friday it has hired a junior analyst, Greg Kohler, who possesses a clear set of morals and a basic understanding of right and wrong.
Click here for the story, which was in "America's Finest News Source."
Dear DMC,
Is that one of you dull men heading to the beach?
After Dull and Boring came to light, we're hearing about more names: Staines (Surrey), Lost (Aberdeenshire), Hell (Michigan), Crapstone, (Devon), Thong (Kent), Looneyville (Texas), Intercourse (Pennsylvania),
The proposal from Dull to Boring was made over a month ago. We have been waiting with baited breath ever since to see how the vote in Boring would turn out.
Read more: Breaking news: Boring (Oregon) votes to twin with Dull (Scotland)
Dear Sir
You cannot imagine my disappointment when I clicked on This is "International Clothesline Week" and the link went nowhere.
We have the highest clothesline poles in the village with three horizontal lines between them (my father put them up years ago, I think they’re set in 3 ft of concrete) which makes putting the washing out no chore at all.
There’s nothing I like more than, having hoisted the lines up, leaning against the garden wall, smoking a cigarette (can I use that word?) and watching the clothes blow.
It’s especially satisfying if you have sheets and or duvet covers on the line, they really billow out, if, of course, you have pegged them in the right way to catch the wind properly.
Read more: Clothesline Report from Cornwall — highest clothesline poles in Penzance
Jim Cotter — painting
Dear DMC,
CBS Sunday Morning yesterday had an interesting segment about a man who set out to paint the town, and is getting the job done.
Before I describe the show, however, I wish to point a key thing it lacked. There was nothing said about whether any dull men are there watching the paint dry. I expect there were. It would be great if they emailed us about their experiences in this regard.
Dear DMC
Dull Men everywhere will mourn the passing of Eugene Polley, inventor of the TV remote control: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-18164200
Read more: TV Remote Control's Founding Father — we mourn him now
Dull men adore orderliness. Orderliness is especially gratifying when has amazing results.
A fallout from Manhattan's orderly grid system of streets is Manhattanhenge, which occurs twice each year when the sun is aligned exactly with Manhattan's east/west streets — presenting stunning views of the sunset. (The grid system was the subject of our May 5 newsletter [click here].)
The name "Manhattanhenge" was coined by astronomer Neil deGrassse Thyson, Director of the Hayden Planetarium at the American Museum of Nature History in New York. As Thyson explains, "Manhattanhenge takes place when the setting sun aligns precisely with the Manhattan street grid, creating a radiant glow of light across Manhattan’s brick and steel canyons, simultaneously illuminating both the north and south sides of every cross street of the borough’s grid. A rare and beautiful sight.”
2012
The 2012 dates are May 30 and July 11. Unfortunately, on May 30 the view was dampened by bad weather. A cold front with rain showers moved across Manhattan — disappointing spectators as well as photographers hoping to get more stunning photos.
Street grid tilts 29 degrees to the east, thus not aligned with equinoxes
The sunset point moves each day. It moves north until the first day of summer (the summer equinox), then south until the first day of winter (the winter equinox). The sun rises precisely to the east and sets precisely to the west only on the equinoxes. But Manhattan's grid of streets is not exactly aligned with geography's north/south course. The streets tilt 29 degrees to the east of geographic north. Therefore, unlike Stonehenge where the stones are properly aligned north/south, the days to view the sunsets at Manhattanhenge are not the same as the summer and winter equinoxes.
It's not "Manhattansolstice"
"Solstice" is a Latin word that means "stopped sun." At a solstice, the sun stops moving for a moment and then reverses to move in the opposite direction. At Manhattanhenge, the sun is still moving.
Do you, as a dull man, feel you are apart from other people when you do -- and enjoy doing -- doing mundane things, life's daily chores?
Good news for you in this new book -- you're not alone. Great writers do these things too. as explained in the book: Hemingway hung wallpaper; Hunter Thompson put up a garden fence; Julius Caesar put up a shelf; Machiavelli espoused on the Art of Mowing; Harold Pinter made cheese on toast; Charles Dickens made plum pudding.
Congratulations on being selected for inclusion in the Chase’s Book of Events.
Read more: Congrats on listing in Chase's Calendar of Events
Dear DMC,
I recall Hollande was one of the nominees for Dull Man of the Year last year. So I thought your members would enjoy seeing him in action now as President of France.
Wanda Ring
Philadelphia
Dear DMC
Ants and ballet – two words that go together like gravel and birthdays.
Chase's Calendar of Events -- next year will include our "Fill Our Staplers Day"
Event title: "Fill Our Staplers Day"
Dates: March 11 and November 4, 2013
Description: To avoid those annoying empty staplers, the Dull Men's Club has established Fill Our Staplers Day. The day occurs twice a year - the days after the days we change our clocks to and from Daylight Saving Time. For info: Email: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . Web: www.dullmensclub.com.
Formula: Days Days after our clocks change to and from Daylight Saving Time
David Rees is now an artisanal pencil sharpener. His rapid rise to being the leader in his field is yet one more American success story.
A one exit/entrance roundabouts
For when four way roundabouts are too exciting.
Eager Way, Ide
KevinCaulfield
Edinburgh
New York is the "World Capital" of many things — but did you know it's the "World Capital of Park Benches"? There are 9,000 benches in Central Park and more in other parks and squares around the city.
Gracie Deegan, winner last year
Am looking forward to seeing the results of yesterday's Pun-Off that's listed on the DMC Calendar [click here]. Am wondering when we'll hear the results — who won and with what puns?
Reviewd by DMC member Paige Turner:
Is there any musical instrument more ordinary that the ukulele? I think not.
Read more: "Uke of Wallington: one man and his ukulele round Britain," by Mark Wallington
Although New York has many world-famous restaurants, there are places where dull men can comfortably eat, where reservations are not required, there's no wait to get in, the food is good and reasonably priced.
Read more: Dull Man's Guide to New York — Dining — 600 Greek Diners
She's gone now but am glad I have fond memories of her, my mother Edna. She made me laugh, mostly at my own expense.
Valedictorian
• The carousel, located towards the southern end of the park, is one of America's biggest carousels.
Report from Stilton's 2012 Cheese Rolling — 7 May
8 May 2012
Yesterday's events are being reported on now on the town's website. Their headline is:
"A bit of rain during the rolling didn't dampen our spirits; another great cheese rolling day [exclmation mark removed]"
Read more: Report from Stilton — "A rather soggy cheese rolling"
We’re starting a series of tips for surviving in exciting places. Dull men are not always able to avoid traveling to exciting places. The trips might be for work, or for family reasons—weddings, birthdays, funerals—or dragged there by the wife.
We’re starting with New York. What officially is New York, New York. Also known as Manhattan, its Indian name.
Read more: Dull Man’s Guide to New York — Grid System for Streets
Dear DMC, I rarely visit YouTube (too much adverse energy) but I found this video quite educational and illuminating, in a subdued sort of way.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?&v=xFQ_fO2D7f0
Michael Decker
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Dear DMC, I'm writing to you from my office at appliancesonline.co.uk where I'm sitting with some of the Dull Men [but don't tell them called them that] I work with. We’ve just spent fifteen minutes having a good laugh at your website [exclamation mark removed]
One of our training tasks for new recruits is for them to come up with jokes. Here are some of our favourites, hope you like them:
-------
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman all walk into a bar.
The barman says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?”
Dear DMC, one of the birthday presents I received was a Lodge Grill Press. I used it yesterday. It was most enjoyable to watch. And to enjoy eating the bacon that was flattened, duller that way than when it's curly.
To watch the it in action, click here.
Tim Ditchbank
Winchester, Hampshire
Dear DMC, I thought you might be interested in this video: 'Dull' and 'Boring' to become 'sister communities'?.
Emil Bentgen
Cross Junction, Virginia
Two Dear DMC emails arrived at our doorstep to let us know about the late-breaking news of Dull's invitation to Boring to twin.
© 1996-2013 International Council of Dull Men, London and Washington DC
