Safe Sex — for a Dull Man — in Laundromat

Dear DMC,

            I take my girlfriend to the Laundromat. I bring my bag of dirty clothes. She brings her bag of dirty clothes. When we get there, we walk up to a laundry machine. We look around to make sure no one is watching us, and then we put her clothes and my clothes into the same machine.

            We start the machine. We pull two chairs up in front of the machine. We sit down and watch our laundry. We watch her clothes swishing around together with my clothes. Her little lacy things getting right up next to my boxer shorts. Sometimes her panties are on top of my boxer shorts; sometimes my boxer shorts are on top of her panties.

            The way I look it, that’s safe sex.

Sincerely,

Tom Bland
New York