Groaners

Dear DMC,

For the Groaners from Grover page?

Steve Reszetriak
London

— — —

Dear Steve,

Yes, these belong on Groaners from Grover. Perhaps the full name of the page should be Groaners from Grover and Friends.

Grover

Puns for Higher IQs

• If you jump off the bridge in Paris, you are in Seine

• A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

• Dijon vu - the same mustard as before

• Practice safe eating - always use condiments

• Shotgun wedding - it's a case of wife or death

• A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy

• A hangover is the wrath of grapes

• Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play

• Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

• Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

• Reading while sunbathing makes you well red

• When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I

• A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired

• What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away)

• Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

• In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes

• She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off

• A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

• If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress

• The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered

• You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it

• Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under

• Every calendar's days are numbered

• A lot of money is tainted -  Taint yours and taint mine

• A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

• He had a photographic memory that was never developed

• A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large

• Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall

• Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis

• Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses

• Acupuncture is a jab well done.

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