Groaners

Dear DMC members and readers of dullmensclub.com,

if you've ever wondered, as I have, why there are no dead penguins out on the ice in Antarctica — where do they go?
 
Wonder no more:

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.
 
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Freeze a jolly good fellow." 

Then they kick him in the ice hole.

Joe Kerr
New York

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